poem 16/30: announcement (haiku #3)

"i love you" is not
a magic phrase to get legs
open. try again.

poem 15/30: little crimson waves

"you know you can't get it back"
her mother's words echoed in the back of her mind
playing like an ironic soundtrack
no time for mother's wisdom
she must focus
he smiles above her
"you sure you're ready?"
she isn't, really
but his sincerity in asking
brushing the stray hairs from her face
looking directly into her eyes
makes her more ready than ever
a slow nod serves as her green light
she holds her breath to prepare
stories told to her about searing pain the first time
made her apprehensive
he assured her that he would go slow
the bass in his voice makes her thighs quiver
or was it nerves?
closed her eyes while he guided his hands over her untouched, inexperienced body
sigh of relief escapes her lips as she watched him reach for protection
each step further makes her heart pound harder
a small whimper escapes her throat
she's parted for the first time
the only thing that was hers now belongs to someone else
with each thrust making her more and more a woman
in a little girl's body
no need to regret anything
mommy already said she can't get it back.

wow! sorry, guys.

Let me first start this post by apologizing. I've been M.I.A. for a little over a while now (thanks for reminding me, Riv (o:); neglecting to comment on your posts and not even updating my own. Just to explain some of what's been going on, my best friend lost her grandmother a few days ago, a young girl I mentor lost her grandmother to cancer, after losing her father earlier this year to the same illness; and my aunt passed away last Tuesday. Not to mention the fact that I had two performances last weekend in D.C., my aunt's funeral to drum for this past Monday, and a show later that evening. Very hectic time for me and close ones around me, so this blog has been low on my priorities list. So, I apologize once again. But...I'm here to play a good game of catch up!

I haven't been posting my poetry for 30/30, but it's up to date in my journal, so what I plan to do here is go back to the last one I've posted and pick up from there. That means the poems will be posted on the days they were written (ex: poem #3/30 was written on 12/13, etc.). You'll have to go back and check them out, but I'll do us all a favor and post links to each one on this blog, since this is the most updated so far.

I won't be in town for New Years; taking a vacation with the family. I'll post pictures of where I am when I come back. But, this also means that I won't be able to finish my last few poems for my 30/30...ha! I've been thinking ahead. I kind of cheated (it's for you guys!) and wrote my last three poems; I'll type them here and they'll post on the dates they were written for. Thanks, Blogger, for that lovely "post date and time" option.

With all this said, I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays--whatever it is you celebrate--and enjoying your wrap-up of 2008. Personally, it was a little rough toward the end, but I made it through alive and in good health...so 2009 must be the shit. LOL. Again, I won't be here on New Years (Busboys and Poets, Riv; damn you!) so I'll say Happy New Years now. Enjoy the poetry, and I'll see you all in '09!

(deuces.)

*edit*

here are the links for poems 4-14. enjoy.
4/30
5/30
6/30
7/30
8/30
9/30
10/30
11/30
12/30
13/30
14/30

poem 14/30: another poem about you

haven't known you long
but i can write about you as if i've known you forever
you've been walking along the path of my future
waiting to meet me
it's almost as if you watched me go through pain
frustration
confusion and hurt
understood those temporaries
and did exactly the opposite
i requested one thing from you
in return you gave me the world
your world.
kisses dance on my lips
making mental soundtracks to fit every moment we've spent together
even the cheesy moments get honorable mentions
"you miss me?"
"baby, i miss you when i blink and you're right in front of me."
levels of corny only we know
serve as laugh tracks
set to cue during the dramatic/traumatic scenes
break the uncomfortable silence
things to look back on, only to look forward
too
i now quench for those moments
bring back the normalcy
my appetite for you is insatiable
and it's because you make it so
giving me your all
one piece at a time
leaving me something to look back and cherish
and once again
look forward to.

poem 13/30: is it a crime?

if she could just steal some more of his time
"I know I can make him mine"
laid out a plan
walk is more seductive
speech sexy, slow
all for a man she doesn't know
trained herself to go with the flow
common sense and dignity are void and fargone
one night stand?
she could settle for that
because she knows he'll be back
just one chance is all she needs
get him hooked, reel him in
but little does she know, he won't be back again
that sparkle on his fourth finger, left hand indicates hurt to come
reality will set just as quickly as the sun
and just as sure as she is about having him after one night
he's just as sure that he's going home to his wife.

poem 12/30: big words (haiku#2)

get my attention
by using words with more than
just two syllables.

poem 11/30: shorty

her short skirts
tight jeans
cleavage broadcasting shirts
loud moth
suggestive eyes
swaying hips
and "fuck me" pumps
do not necessarily or literally imply just that
her actions may not be an invitation
but a cry for help.

poem 10/30: heart.beat.

a year and a half into life
you struck into my heart
from daddy's hands to my ears
we've become inseperable
my way of life and my signature
who I am
i can say anything through you
each note vibrating through chakras
reinforce the heartbeat
you flow through me then reach the hearts of others
remind them of who they are
and if i stop playing, i am no longer myself
and if you stop, the world will cease to breathe
you represent a vital organ
and while i march to my own tune
root notes always lead me back to you
dancing on polyrhythms like blood flowing through veins
some hear you and are forever changed
what's funny are the people who claim they've never seen or heard of you
or closed minds who say you're for one kind of people
but all they need to do
is unlock the furthest recesses of their mind
and they will find you
watered down through hiphop and popular music
but those who truly know you
hear you in the shortest of songs
cherish you
like the very air we breathe
and feel you
like the very stick striking the head
feeling every single drop of blood flowing through the heart.

poem 9/30: en vogue (haiku)

just because you switched
up your game does not mean that
you will get the goods.

poem 8/30: dreams of Paris

God forbid the day I meet you is at your funeral
heard your name only one handful of times
pieced together my own vision of you
army man with a country accent
and even though you hate him, i'm sure you look like daddy
but you could be none of those things
what i am sure of
is the fact that we're blood
my oldest brother
product of a rolling stone and a young mind looking for affection in the wrong places
now a known unknown
find myself wondering if i have any nieces and nephews
living in the same city as me
missing out on play fights
real fights
and "boy" talks
you were supposed to teach me what you know about the birds and the bees
tease me when i peaked puberty
be the threatening looming presence at the seeing off of my first prom
but your mother planted a seed
and you nursed it on your own
hatred for father spawned your eventual disappearance
it is I who wants to know you
I am a product as well
not the problem
do not run from me.
there's still time
be the threatening looming presence to the man I want to marry
give the piggyback rides you owe me to your future niece and nephew
be my blood
all i need is an introduction
at least a genuine mental picture
curious to see who you look like
whose habits you've picked up
lefty or righty
blue or white collar
so many things to learn about someone who should be here
my brother
a complete stranger.

poem 7/30: bars

i barely remember your voice
but i do remember
thick plated bullet proof glass
baritone notes busting through static filled phones
mommy just wants to hug you
wrinkles in her forehead displaying her distaste in this place
but her children need to know their blood
uncle was always in high spirits
despite the circumstances
victim of "wrong place, wrong time"
beautiful mind confined to an 8X8 cell
no windows to feed you light
designed to break your spirit
but in my young age, I already admired your strength
i was only 7, jabari was three
you loved us like you made us
told mommy not to be so hard
encouraged my banging on tables, pots and pans
critiqued my poetry, told me to keep writing
you passed your passions through the bars to us
to keep yourself alive
never got out when you were supposed to
mommy whispered to daddy while at home
you were fighting everyday
self defense
so security at its maximum was your destination
gave all of yourself to us
like you knew you were leaving soon
and when you came home, you were finally Freed a couple of years later
Jabari's too young to remember your funeral
but let mommy tell it
he acts just like you
evidence that you're still here
and i keep writing
drumming
teaching
living
for you, beyond the bars.

poem 6/30: we real cool '08.

we pop shit. we
shoot quick. we
need love. we
worship drugs. we
die for fame. we
don't change. we
stay the same. we've
lost our names.

btw: Gwendolyn Brooks? Dope.

:o)

poem 5/30: untitled

i tried to write you a poem
but the words you need to hear will never make it to paper
told myself i'd just tell you later
but thoughts run wild; i watch my emotions fade like vapors
i tried to give you the world
put my life and love on a silver platter
spun the moon and stars on the tips of my fingers
showing you and the universe my devtion
only to trip and fall into your abysmal past
feeling a void because i gave you my world
but i stepped into yours and someone else was already there
i gave you my essence
life
heart
love
i gave you me.

poem 4/30: family reunion

"You know Man's locked up"
Laughed at the irony of that statement
Man never became a man
Came to that fork in the road and turned back when he decided to touch her with his man-child hands
Took advantage of her admiration for him
Little tomboy got a fave big cousin
Things appeared to be all good, but really wasn't
Tainting her innocence with his ignorance
He didn't know any better
Turning her childhood games into future backstories for therapy sessions
She never wants to play "house" again
Introduced her to things she shouldn't know about
Until she begins to question them on her own
Grown up roles, but neither of them is grown
Pissed off every time she went to his house to see his mother wasn't home
Didn't know what this thing was
But knew what your aim was
Showing her that she's already mentally too much for you
Man's in a Man's body
With a boy's frame of mind
She feels sorry for him
Nearly a grown ass man
Taking something he should get from his future girlfriend
Wife
Fuck buddy
Whatever
From a little girl's forced touch
Then get around the family and pretend you loved her so much...
too much.
She wouldn't eat at family cookouts
One look from him would have grilled food hitting hot pavement
Reminding her of that pissy ass basement
Something she's done hard to repress
But hearing his name today reopened that hole in her chest
All she can do is continue to live
And over time find the will to forgive
She just prays no breakdown when she sees your face
And hopes his memory won't smudge out her future husband's place
Such a stain on her life she wishes to leave in the past
"...you know Man's out now..."
And she just laughs.

poem 3/30: uninvited.

and he let her in
no promise of future meetings made
no strings--the way he likes
knew what
or who
he was getting into
her thick thighs and wide hips calling to be touched
he happily obliged
he infiltrated
penetrated
strangers no longer so
sharing lust, sweat
them
touch
pleasure
never too much
she understands the unwritten rule
so when he gets right up, it's second nature to keep her cool
keeps a crooked smile
for while it was both worth their while
his life is forever changed
a friendly fuck with a face but no name
some script just flipped
but who's the master of the game?
filled her with his seed, but she's still empty
and he may feel accomplished
another day, another conquest
...he is simply a target
a pawn in the wrath of a woman scorned
carrying the burden of life and too many children unborn
no one knows her story
but those who come in contact quickly become chapters
her center touched before before
playing the same game
different day, different name
once sacred place turned into stomping ground for hungry egos
sweet secretions have become venomous
stinging the member of the members of her not so exclusive club
and he let her in.

(deuces.)

poem 2/30; the acrostic: elementary contradictory.

He whispered the "perfect" words, and with his hands
Used the right touch
Read her mind with his body and became her one. Now,
Tattered dignity and memories remain in the wake of his fabricated love.

the "Boss" has me lost.

First thing's first:

I probably should've posted something about this album a little earlier, but it's really never too late. I deem it a classic. In my opinion, he makes up greatly for Release Therapy, which wasn't all that great. Lyricism is a plus on Theater, and of course you can expect some made-for-the-club hits, i.e. "One More Drink" feat. Mr. Autotunes himself, T-Pain.

Now, I'm okay with having featured artists on your album, but I believe that (a) they should not come with a better verse than you (Em's first verse; "Renegade" ring a bell?), but at the same time they should (b) not have a completely garbage verse, either. Everyone's favorite Boss/Correctional Officer totally misses both marks on Luda's track "Southern Gangsta". It was already my least favorite track on the album to begin with, but Rick Ross certifies it roadkill with this opening line:

"I got a letter from the government the other day//I opened it, read it//It said we were hustlers..."

No, I have not altered his line for my own sake. Dude really said that.WTF? What the hell are you talking about? I would post the song, but I'd rather not taint my post with his wackness. =/ Check out imeem and get one of the imeem wizards to pull the song up for you.

If anyone understands what he's talking about and wouldn't mind breaking it down to me, please don't hesitate to drop me a comment.

Have your own picks for wackest lines/verses? Post them here.

(deuces.)

btw: expect 2/30 later in the day.

And so it begins: Poem 1/30

I've decided to jump right in and start this 30/30. I wanted to further challenge my intellect by restricting myself to a theme (maybe?), but I think I'll just freewrite and up the ante on my next go round. Yes, I plan on doing this again. Talk about mental calisthenics?! If you're one of those people that gets told to "write it down" a lot, you should definitely try this out. It doesn't necessarily have to be poetry; are the rules really set in stone? Are there rules at all?

I've procrastinated enough. Here we go...

Who Will Tell Them?

that long before they were a thought in mommy and daddy's eyes

we made the Earth spin with a snap of our fingers

spun the stars from our black hands into a black sky

we are He who created above and below

we are the In Between

who will tell them

that we mastered the sciences

built pyramids from sand

the secrets of mathematics ingrained in our lands

all fell at our feet to learn what we know

multi dimensional spiritual beings with no limit to our growth

who will tell them

the black man to run the white house is only one small piece of our puzzle

one minute result of the constant struggle

surviving bondage like no other people

great leaders shot down because they preached we're all equal

who will tell them

that the whole world fears us

taking ownership of what we taught them

erased from all history books; even our potential is too powerful

mind is the rarest of gems

producing thoughts and ideas more precious than time itself

who will tell them we've been bred to be afraid of ourselves

the three fifths mentality ringing louder than freedom's bell

turned us into a word to bring us down

but your mind is too sharp; watch you turn it around

who will tell them their education is doomed for a reason

facts hidden because tapping into yourself is taboo; forbidden

tell them they have to find it on their on, awaken the warrior inside that's been sleeping too long

who will tell him that he does not have to be another statistic

that there really are more of you in college than there are in prison

tell him that he is the 2nd time Jesus has Risen

tell him men who looked like him once ran empires

mental will always grow too strong, so just for him they build jails

they don't have to be sport figures or rappers, fashion designers or actors

possibilities are endless because we birthed them

tell him his blood is of the first biologist and heart surgeon

who will tell her

that "video ho" is not her predestined titled

that what's in her will someday make her someone's idol

tell her that she is designed after Mother Earth

nurturing the world before her own birth

tell her that the tv is not a mirror

she is the creation that spawned beauty itself

but media butchers her image, take advantage of her wealth

tell her that her body is built as is for a reason

that behind her eyes lies the ability to change the very seasons

tell them

they are not only descendants but the infinite coming of greatness

it is more than our style that gives people reason to hate us

that there is no logic or honor in holding their heads down

God spoke you here, and on your head He placed a crown

tell them when they are called other than the name they were given

that person is hurting the very world that they live in

thell them they shouldnt be afraid to let anyone know who they are

their ancestor's determination brought them this far

tell them that even their pigment is a wonder

the thing that divides us all, is what also brings us back to one

black and brown skin mimicking our close relationship with the Sun

tell them not to retaliate with more hate

there's no need to bother

for them hating us is like a child hating his Father

tell them that they are Shaka, Tut, Nefitiri, Martin, Malcolm, Angela, Angelou, Biko, Selassia, Kuti, Garvey, Makeba, Huey, Cleaver, Hughes, Assata, Giovanni, Pryor, Mac, Hayes, Obama, Mother Moore, Cosby, Cochran, Ashe, Robinson, Davis, Jr., Poitier, Pittman, Parks, Till, Evers...

their history goes deeper than that of the deepest wells

tell them.

but first, we must once again tell ourselves.

(deuces.)

oh, baltimore pt. 2

Well, I posted a while ago about my city and its horrible violent streak. Looks like we've done it again, and another 14 year old's life has been claimed. Sunday night (12/7), a young man was walking across the street to help a neighbor and was murdered. Someone just walked up on him, said nothing, shot him and walked away. W.T.F.
I need to get out of here.

So, you're telling me...if I go and take some fruit to my neighbor, I may never make it back to my house? Recreation centers closing down left and right, the school system sucks; there's nothing left for us to do but kill eachother. Wait. That's how it's supposed to be, right?

(deuces.)
btw: I haven't forgotten about my 30/30, but due to recent events, i.e. life, it will be postponed until...not sure when. I'd like to be anal and actually start on the 1st of a month and continue until the 30th...we'll see. But please believe there will be poetry!

30/30, 20/20 and updates; oh my!

For those who enjoyed the holiday last week, stuffing yourself until your pants opened up on their own, great job.

I'm going to try and keep this brief...
Just took a look at my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything...well, personal...in a good while. I mean, my blog is titled "Oooh, Hecky Nawl; That Guhl Is Raw." for a reason, and according to the tagline I typed for the description, I'm supposed to be guiding you readers (sans seatbelt) through my random, turbulent, awesomely awesome music-filled life. However, the past few weeks for me? Not enough time in the day, not enough emotions in my mental bank or for my hormones to handle, and ultimately no time to blog unless it was something nonrelated to my stressful life--at the moment. Between work, more work, performances, personal problems and holiday time, something had to be left on the back burner. What's been going on, you ask? Allow me to bring you up to speed:

-Spent some time in Philly with the fam. My cousin is a student at UArts and she had a performance/final to put on, so everyone (check the picture) drove up to see her. I enjoyed the whole show, seeing other students pieces was pretty fun, but her piece stole the show. She really made her sister proud. Filling up half of the theater was pretty hilarious as well, all the chairs marked "Reserved for Wombwork Productions, Inc." LMAO, the families of the other students were livid.

-Thanksgiving was wonderful. Dinner at two houses? I won't complain. Didn't really eat much, but the time for family fellowship is always welcome to me. My best friend's also been in town, so I got a chance to hang out with him; and my cousin finally came home from Frostburg State University for the holiday break.

-Nu World was presented with the opportunity to perform for the Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He came to Baltimore to speak about outreach programs in the city. He was very excited to hear "music from home", as we did our very best rendition of a Miriam Makeba classic; a South African freedom song that literally translates "our mothers prayed, and because they prayed; we're still here, we're still fighting and we'll never give up the struggle for total freedom." Awkward moment: the whole event was held in a Catholic church, so after the choir sang their songs, and we performed...no applause. Weird. Very funny man, I swear. He had us (Nu World) cracking up as he practically shat on America, saying things like, "Your country is very funny, yes? What other place can you go where someone drags a man behind a truck, then elects a man of African descent as president?! Amazing!" or "First you have 700 BILLION dollars...then...poof! It's all gone! How?" I enjoyed being in his energy, he's a political icon, and now one more person I can check off of my "People I'd Like to Meet" list. This year alone I performed for the Last Poets, met Amiri Baraka, and now I can say I've performed for Desmond Tutu. Now, if I could just touch the hem of Angela Davis' garment...lmao. She's #1 on the list.

-Got some new specks. Ahhhh, yes, I'm a tad visually impaired. Only a tad, though; I'm not required to wear my glasses all the time, only during long periods at the PC and reading. I think they look pretty neat. The best part about them? F-R-E-E! Yes, I did get up at 6:30AM to make sure I got a free eye exam and free glasses. Free. My favorite word. Ha.

-And finally: Scuba Steve. Wowwwww. We've really been through it since 11/15. I've felt like I've been holding my breath for two and a half weeks, but as of today, everything is okay. Well, not okay; but better than what they've been. We've both got a lot of work to do. I won't go into details about exactly what happened, but I will say that I've matured significantly during this off time. Something from the past (read: before we were together) came back and almost kicked both our asses. Mentally? We were both screwed. A very emotional time for us both. We've even lost a few pounds due to stress. The thought of me having to let him go, and his thoughts of losing me were too much for us to handle. There's that double edged sword I was talking about. This issue was a good bulk of my sort of absence from...well, everything. I pretty much alienated myself from everyone and everything for the first few days, then gradually worked my way back as we tried our best to move along. Scuba and I are basically starting over. *sigh* But...I really believe it's all worth it.

Wow. That was nowhere near brief. LOL, sorry. Last thing, though: I've been promising and promising some poetry for you guys for a while now, and now it's time for me to shit or get off the pot. After doing some brief research in my hometown, I've come to the conclusion that no one has heard of 30 poems in 30 days. However, it won't stop me from doing my own! So after this post, the next blog you see from me will be Day1/Poem1, up until I've reached my 30 days. Thanks to Riv for posting her blog a while back and sparking my interest. Until next time...

(deuces.)

btw: for those who have asked or are wondering...yes, the picture at the top of the blog is me. The good ole days... :o)

twitter madness

Ha.
I've been hoodwinked! Bamboozled!
Anyways, I finally gave in to adulthood peer pressure and opened up a Twitter account. Yayyyy, me. It seems pretty basic (I'd like to call it Facebook Status Updates for Dummies, or Blogging: The VERY Beginning), but again something I really don't need...so it's essentially for kicks. LOL, I actually went to the site, checked it out and said, "What?! That's it. You just tell people what you're doing? This is stupid."...
...then I proceded to get my login information via conformation e-mail. O_o
Hey, what better way is there to send people into extreme boredom? I'll just jump on my phone and let you know my every waking move every five seconds.
Not seriously, but I'll give it a shot.
If you are an unfortunate soul who doesn't know when to say no, like me; or you really do have fun with this thing, you should be kind and add me.

Click here and check me out.

(deuces.)

12/03 *update: After a few days in the Twitter universe, it's really not all that it's cracked up to be. Really. Deleting the account asap (aka whenever Twitter's server decides to work). LOL, at least I can said I had a Twitter account...right?

oh, baltimore.

Whatever happened to our motto, "The City that Reads"?

Last year, HBO, along with directors Alan and Susan Raymond bravely set their sights on my city's crappy school system and decided to feature a documentary about one of (MANY) the troubled schools here. Hard Times At Douglass High: A No Child Left Behind Report Card chronicles one turbulent school year at the historic Frederick Douglass Senior High School. Since I live in Baltimore, and my brother graduated from this same school in 2007, watching this documentary was technically redundant, but I wanted to see if the media really shed light on what goes on in that school. Long story short, I think they did a pretty good job in showing what really goes on with the Baltimore City Public School System...and that's exactly nothing at all. School books dated back to when Frederick Douglass himself attended the school? Not really, but close enough. And oh, "we can't afford to give you new books, but here's this shiny new SCOREBOARD for your football field! Keep running, niggers." Not an actual quote, but I figure that's what's being said in these shady school headquarters meetings. And please don't get me started on the violence--the gang fights, teachers fighting students--wow.


One year later, and the shit is still hitting the fan. This story hits me harder because I've worked at this school before, and the stories that I have just at this school are ridiculous and endless. Example: on my way to work one day, I get a phone call saying that the after school session for the day had been canceled and all students had been sent home. I found out later in the day that a student decided to drop a chair on a teacher--landing directly on his face--from two floors up. The teacher had been taken to the emergency room with a broken nose and other injuries. W.T.F. Last Friday, it was reported that a student had been fatally stabbed multiple times right outside of the school--by another student--at Lemmel Middle School, ironically a few blocks away from Douglass. Please feel free to click the link for the full story and updates that have followed. Apparently the young man who killed his schoolmate was constantly bullied. It's also reported that he went to school authorities multiple times and no action was taken, so he finally and unfortunately took matters into his own hands.

In keeping up with this story, there are always two things that continuously surface to the front of my mind:

-We have POLICE OFFICERS working in city schools. No, not the rent-a-cop, with a whistle and iron-on "security" badge. The good ole boys (lmfao@ the irony) of the BCPD have special divisions and departments specially designed to provide safety to our schools. Where the hell were they? Just last year at the same school, a student stabbed one of his classmates in the neck with a pair of scissors. He was also a victim of bullying but to a different extreme; being bullied by gang members. Where are my taxes going?!
-This is pretty twisted that this thought came to mind, but check this: the two boys in this story are 14 and 15 years old. Why are they still in middle school?

This city is jacked, and the school system is even worse. And now we have another issue facing us, with the passing of Question 2 in Maryland, we'll soon be welcoming slots into the state. Guess where the money's going to go? The goverment is saying schools...I don't see it happening. Of course I'm not being asinine by not listening to both sides of the Question 2 argument, but when it came time to vote on 11/4, I did myself and my younger brothers and sisters a favor a selected no.
It's hard to believe this city is about change for our schools when I can drive past Douglass High, with no new renovations, books, or anything severly beneficial for the students being done; and look right across the street at Mondawmin Mall practically getting a facelift. It was arguably the worst mall in the city, in ALL aspects. You wouldn't be able to find anything you were looking for...and hopefully you made it out and to your car without being robbed. And hopefully you got into your car without someone already being in it, waiting to rob you. But now, check us out! We've built a brand spanking new Target, AJ Wright, and a Shoppers; and there's also been some significant work done to the inside of the mall. Now there's a Forever 21 in the hood. Damn.

That's right across the street. And to the left of the school, a new football stadium is being built for Coppin State University.

Way to go, B-More. Way to go.

(deuces.)

ha! midnight's a hit!

"Sister Souljah's Latest Novel Is New York Times Best Seller"

Hey, I didn't make this stuff up. I was checking one of my fave hiphop sites for some news, and the story popped up. I finished the book less than a day after I posted my bootleg book review.

The story was remarkable, and it looks as if most of the world thinks so as well. And by "world", I mean the New York Times Best Seller List. Ha.

Next book I'm going to read? Not entirely sure. Toni Morrison's A Mercy looks like it may be pretty good, but when reading anything she's authored, I have to make sure I read nothing else during that time. Seriously. Morrison's novels sometime have the tendency to be the definition of complex. There will be a lot of rereading, re-analyzing, head scratching and "wtF?!" moments in this novel. I'm sure of it.

Have you seen/read Beloved?
Exactly.

*update* I just read the synopsis of A Mercy, via wikipedia. It's set two centuries earlier than Beloved, so it's technically a prelude to the latter. Looks like I'll need to perform some mental calisthenics before I crack this one open.

(deuces.)

he's scoob, and he's here.

My good buddy Scoob, aka Mr. Official, aka the ShoNuff of Snuzz has now entered the blogosphere. It's titled "A Few Things"; just his almost-daily chronicle of randomness, childhood memories and Rolling Road stories. Check him out, I'm pretty sure you'll find some things either:

-Funny as hell

-Random

-Nostalgia inducing

If you weren't paying attention, his link is included.

:)

Just click "A Few Things".

See? I did it for you again.

You're welcome.

"...when it hits, you feel no pain...so, hit me with music..."

The break may be over now. Not sure, really. I just really needed some time to think about certain events highlighting my life, and over thinking could cloud the gut instinct-type decision I've already made to handle the situation.

Now, the reason of this post: if anyone has been reading the random things that show up on this blog, you'll know that I am a music fiend. I'm an 80s baby, so by default I should be accustomed to the wonderful sounds of Hip Hop, but noooo; I tend to share my love of all things music with all genres. Yes, country music even gets love from me, too. Gasp.

The genre I listen to usually mirrors my mood. If I'm in a sad mood (as of now), I tend to listen to jazz (Dizzy), blues (Lena&Billie), or old school R&B. No, I'm not talkin' "...never trust a big butt and a smile!" (sidenote: If you clicked the link, I'm not saying this song isn't classic. I'm just taking it a little further back. That song was actually my favorite song as a little [little] girl.), I'm talking about Phyllis (one of my personal faves), Chaka, Gladys, Tina; Teena, Luther, Marvin (swoon), et cetera. Sometimes I may have a thought in my head that brews uncontrollably, so I accompany the mental storm with Igor Stravinsky's "The Rite of Spring". Note: Vaslav Nijinsky was a sick choreographer. So there is a positive to being a (sometimes) moody woman...finding the best song to describe your feelings at the time, especially if there's not a soul who will understand how're you're feeling right now. You know what I mean.

Today, I stumbled across some music on Imeem.com--they've stepped their game up on the html tip and decided that they'd like the music to be continuous during your cyber visit. So, intstead of the music stopping if you've only selected one song, poof! Some little Imeem wizard automatically takes you to another mp3, "randomly" selected according to the artist/genre you chose. I can't even remember what I've been listening to; I was feeling pretty random today, so I just let my ears drown in whatever I stumbled upon. All of a sudden, there it was.

Now, to some people; at first listen it may persuade you to break out the glo-sticks and pacifiers, but it's really a decent song. Great "believe in yourself!" themed lyrics, upbeat tempo; something you can vibe and maybe two step to. There's a mellow voice to sweeten the pot, not Fantasia, but not yet Clay...but not yet Kelly...that American Idol manufactored voice that you may rarely like. Sorry, Idol fans.

Point is, given my situation, I may have never given this song a listen until now. I'm not saying that this is the techno power ballad to end all techno power ballads...but it's damn sure a picker-upper.

Then the Imeem wizard must have felt my desire to laugh, so poof! This played after.

LMFAO.

(deuces.)

skills.

Still taking a break...but...this video is incredible. I couldn't just not share this with everyone. How selfish, right? A 5 year old girl with handles even Iverson in his prime would envy.

Milan Simon Tuttle > Your favorite baller

Too bad the WNBA is pretty much...eh. Sorry. It is, though.

(deuces.)

no subject.

So, Riv ; I've got a haiku too. No dis, just...all I could say at the time.

Untitled.
hearts stitched upon sleeves
ultimately tread upon
it was mine to give.

Taking a break from blogger/Myspace/Facebook/life/friends/family/whatever.

Be back when I'm back.

(deuces.)

random day, random post.

Went to work today.
Pause.
Let me just say: work on a SATURDAY? Complete and utter madness.
Anyways, this post really isn't about much, so I'll keep the random to a minimum. Had to put a guy out of the library today (lmfao); he was watching porn on the public PCs. I mean, if you're entertained by watching a person/people do something you could be doing, but won't for some odd reason; rock off. (Ahem, Mr. Valentino? "Rock off"=" Do your thing", in my personal universe. (: ) But...keep in mind, you're in a public library, and the nosey children standing behind you are going to pay attention to your monitor if they see booty taking up %95 of the screen. Hmm. Anything else worth typing happen? Not really. Let's move on, before I think of something to type here anyway, ruining the whole point of this already random blog. Did that make sense?

Going to my older cousin's tonight for "Ladies' Night". Should be fun, but...in my experience, sometimes Ladies' Night (my cousin's or anyone's for that matter) has the potential to turn into "Men Ain't Sh*t" night, which is totally not cool in my book. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some teenybopper movie, sterotypical female character, who is untouched and has never been hurt. But...male bashing? Nahhh. I don't bash, I move on. Besides, what can a group of awfully chatty damaged females do to help my situation?
Exactly.

Another con to Ladies' Night: tooooo much talking.

The pro: My cousin's cooking. Ghandi would love it.

Another pro: social drinking.

...so, I'm going to Ladies' Night!

Brightside to this long day: If you read any of the crap I type, you'll know that fall is my favorite season. Period. Today was a beautiful day, so I snapped a couple pics via the smartphone. Enjoy the part of Baltimore that The Wire never showed. Ha.

And I always come back to the cul-de-sac. Looking looking at this same image for 23 years. Wow.

(hella sentence frags, but so what?)

(deuces.)

i HATE band season, but this guy's pretty awesome.

I hate Morgan State's Marching Band season.
Let me clarify. I love the band. Their horn sections would make Gabriel take notice. The drumline...damn, the drumline. Sickness.
But...if you don't mind not having a life, social or otherwise; and alienation of your family is fine to you, you won't have a problem with the marching band's schedule. Personally, I think it's garbage. LOL, I only have a vendetta against them because it's been keeping me from someone I consider to be a very important person in my life.



This guy?
This is Duane.
And I realized two days ago why I can (and do) call him my best friend.
:)

LOL, I know for a fact that Duane's reading this, so I'm gonna use this time and make this personal. There is a reason to this post (underlying theme: GROWTH), so ride with me for a while or hop out here. Thanks.

So....Duane! The family misses you, man. Jabari, Chao and I were actually talking about you a couple of days ago, and in our conversation I finally came to the realization that you're a grown man now! Wow! When the hell did that happen? We've been around eachother all our lives, the notion of you growing up on me never came to mind. But, here you are now, Mr. Popular at your school, with your facial hair and deep voice, having your own opinion...you make me sick. :)
Seriously though, I thought about all the times our friendship was tested because of those blasted Morgan Bears, and I thought that maybe it was time for me to let you do you. You seem to have fun hanging out with your band colleagues, so why not let others see the light that I see in you, right? I mean, our friendship was almost over in '06, but now that I look back on the whole situation and the events surrounding it...maybe I was being selfish. We both know you haven't had the most splendid time making friends and all--I'll keep it simple and say children are cruel--but now that you're basically a friggin' social butterfly, I guess I'll relax my friend/motherly instincts and back off. I've only missed one band showcase, and that was the last one I missed. You should expect to hear your very own "Dooooooooooane!!!!!!!!!" section drowning out all the others come December 6th. Ha.

All this rambling was done to say this: Duane, you're an awesome human being. We've had a lot of ups and downs, failed attempts at relationships (lmao), beefs and the like; but I love you dearly. You're my very best friend, my brother. And I'm so happy to see you happy in your Degrassi-like universe, rocking the hell out of those quints like they owe you money. I'm really happy to see that you've grown out of that pesky insecure phase. Those people who hurt and teased you in the past just helped to make you more awesome. What makes me even happier is the fact that you went against the grain, failing to become a clone in Bodymore, Murdaland; some random lost soul who finds who they are in the image of others. You're so not them. I'm honored to watch you mature each year and become the man I know you were raised to be. And even though "we" never worked out, just know that from this day forth, there's a teeny tiny spot on my heart especially marked for you. Reaaaally teeny tiny. :) Just kidding, you're the bees knees in my eyes.
Pssst. I know you get the girls, too. PIMPIN'!

Love you, man. See you soon.

(deuces.)

bootleg book review

So, I just realized that I took a break from blogging...without saying I would take a break.
Awesome.
Let me explain a little something about myself: I am a book fanatic. Seriously. Example: Of all the Harry Potter books in the entire series (yes I read HP; wanna fight about it?), the maximum time used for completing just one book was less than two days. One of the books is 870 pages deep. Now, I'm not limited to the wacky wizarding hijinks that occurs at Hogwarts; I pretty much read anything that will catch my eye and imagination by at least the second paragraph. Tananarive Due, Octavia Butler, Walter Mosley...the list literally goes on. My love for reading is almost as strong as my love for music, and depending on the genres of said loves, I may participate in some fraternization of the two. Yes, I'm greedy; damn it.

Moving along...the reason behind my brief "disappearance" lies here. You're looking at the follow-up novel to Sister Soulja's "The Coldest Winter Ever". This is one of those books that sneaks up on you. There you are, enjoying some quiet reading time on the couch...uh-oh, it's getting late...better just read one more chapter, or at least finish the one you started...and before it's too late, it's 3am and you've read half the book.


Or maybe that's just me. :)


Anyways, I'm not some professional, ridiculously high paid book reviewer, so I'll keep it short. If you're a fan of this author...well, you should already have the book. Ha. If you're not a fan of the author but a fan of reading, pick it up.

And if you'd like to have your mind somewhat blown by a fictional character's views on your very own morals, values, mores, religion, race...


...I'm giving the book away. Borrow it, purchase it. READ IT.

(deuces.)

stare.

For when he asks me, "Whatchu lookin' at?"...

the action seems so simple
but the effect is overwhelming
locked in a trance i can't shake from
you've got this beautiful hold on me
no dictionary will ever define what i see when i look into your eyes
one word eventually stumbles to mind
future
i watch the universe dance to our song
galaxies birth stars to light your iris
the very light God filled the world with in The Beginning
sambas around the whites of your eyes
dancing across the bridge that serves to hold your gaze
a peep at your pupils shows me that our children will share our features
personalities
love...
all but one
our daughter could make the very knees of the strongest man shake
send anyone into frenzy with the way her lashes kiss eachother with a soft blink
your son will be responsible for striking fear in any man to test him
make females imagine what your seed pushed from her womb would look like
as I do now
old heads say that eyes are the windows to one's soul
it seems as if your windows were made specifically for me to enjoy
take a look outside to see what life would be without you
there's nothing there
so let me be your window
see in me what i envision in you
i can only hope you see what I see
when I catch you staring at me.

(deuces.)

peace, Mama Afrika.

"Miriam Makeba, the South African singer who wooed the world with her sultry voice but was banned from her own country for more than 30 years under apartheid, died after collapsing on stage in Italy. She was 76."

Another one of my favorites and personal greats...gone.

You'll be missed.

Ashe'.

what good is a ear...

...If a Q-Tip isn't in it?

Album Name: The Renaissance

Artist: Q-Tip

Dropped: 11/4/08

Status: DOPE.

Thanks, Kamaal.

(deuces.)

e-mailing a 6th grader

LMAO.
One of the little girls I used to work with sends me e-mail all the time. This has to be our funniest conversation.

Student: ok this is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!
im writing this frm my ipod!!

Me: Awesome! That means you finally got your iPod Touch, correct?

Student: ah... noduh. I just realized tho that u can do that. so whats up w/ u? Guess what? so, yesterday, in math class, we were working on this problem, and it asked how many red marbles zakiyah had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we all cried because we knew that we had alrerady made you lose them all!

I replied to her and told her that they didn't make me lose my marbles.

The adults did.

(deuces.)

btw: my page has been a little naked on the poetry tip. guess i'll do something about it. gotta get these thoughts to stop careening into eachother, first. ha.

11/6; no candles, but he's my flame.

You're such a grown ass man.

:o)

I've watched you grow one year older...twice! Time flies.

But I'm happy to know that I'll be by your side to witness many more.

"AYO!"

Happy Birthday, baby.

♥