Haiku: Common Cents (Economy Edition)

My shoes may not be
The freshest but please believe
My phone is still on.



Just a little something I wrote to myself when I was thinking about the last time I've been in a mall. =( It's been a minute.

(deuces.)

Nature of the Beast.

he doesn't have
that same sparkle anymore
beautiful brown eyes filled with pain
confusion
doctors say that nothing's wrong
but
his mother knows her son
waiting for him nights on end to come home
only to find "him" sitting at the bus stop
clothes dirty, hair unkempt
waiting on a bus that will never come
unexplainable moments of rage
in a matter of seconds
replaced by the man we all know and love
it's scary to watch the downward spiral
a genius, afflicted by his own mind
torment that no one should bare
has become his burden.


For my friend, who's entering a chapter in his life that no one saw coming.

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 7: It Started With A Random Keystyle...

For "my" sake

My sanity

You utter the sweetest blasphemy

From your lips to my heart

Creating its own heartbeat

But quickly dying

The root of it all is decaying

As I watch you fall to pieces

Three words to end you

You chose slowly

Not wisely

Know that I am able to soar without you

HE and I control my existence

Loved me before you "loved" me

So I can be all I need

You fail to see that is not I that can save you

You must save yourself.

THE MORAL:

Low self esteem seems to be a trend these days. It can be subtle, but it's there. I had a lot of things running through my mind while I sat at this PC, and the poem above is a result. This won't be a long FF entry for today. The message is simple: before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself first. Love yourself harder than anyone else does. You really can't love a person the way they deserve to be loved until you love yourself in that way first.

That's why I start each and everyday by looking in the mirror and saying, "Ziggy, YOU are THE SHIT!"

Joking. But mantras work, if you're into self affirmations.

Digressing...people often jump into relationships thinking that they'll feel better about themselves if they can find someone else to love them. Wrong. Pay attention, and after a while, that person that you wanted to love love love love you, alllll the time, is going to be out the door. You should not need a babysitter/parental figure in a significant other. Why would you even expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself?

Trust me. Self love is the best love.

Be blessed, and enjoy this beautiful weekend!

(deuces.)

btw: I'll probably have a couple of random posts in the next few days. And be on the lookout for a BlackMuzik update. :o)

The only poetry I can muster up amidst this brain fart.

Just like the rain does

Love flows endlessly through me

Watch the storm begin.

*I'll be bringing the poetry back to the forefront as soon as this brain fart has passed...maybe some vlog rants...we'll see.

(deuces.)

poetry quickie: blessings

Thanks for coming through
Just when I figured out how
To come through for You.



*Just a reminder that sometimes we don't get those prayers answered until we do a little of the work.
It's hump day people! The weekend is upon us! And I feel a blog spree coming...
...yall be safe.

(deuces.)

friday freebie!

Melt
Ignite each chakra

With friendly touch. Baby, our

Connection is ill.

Happy Friday, folks! Another weekend is upon us...and I have NOTHING to do. I tell you, this staying in/saving money thing is agony sometimes. Anyways, I'm off to run errands before work. Got a couple of posts for you later in the day, but for now enjoy the haiku quickie...and these things running through my mind:

-Ron Brownz sucks eggs. I'd like him to jump out of a windowwwwww.

-WTF is up with all these murder-suicides? First LA, then one the next day in Annapolis, then yesterday in Ohio. It can't be that bad.

-When's the next Black Star album dropping? Kweli and Mos, we need you!

Got some others, but this post is a little too random for my own liking.

Everyone have a safe weekend.

(deuces.)

it continues...30/30 pt dos!

#24 (1/3/2009)-Poetry, A Letter

wasn't aware that there were rules applied to free expression

i'd like to just talk and let words flow

call that poetry

but apparantely my words aren't big enough

lines not long enough

messages not deep enough

and metaphors aren't metaphorical enough

I don't have the right rhythm to spit you amongst ready ears

so many rules

for something that was discovered without them

so I apologize, poetry

I can only continue to be

but the feeling must be mutual

because you allow me to be

don't trip when I miss a line

or when I take too long to reach a point

I'm getting your message across

just let me be your instrument.

#25 (1/4/2009)-Tainted Promise

the universal heartbeat had to be revived

your announcement threw everything off balance

my world danced to the tune of your drum

but unbeknownst to me, the drumming ceased

causing me to stumble

and in this incident I realized I've grown dependent on you

needing my fix

and regretting the person I become when it's not near

you've become my music, a necessity

knowing that for just one moment it could've been wiped away has potential to kill me

but the drums start again

while you and I dance on glass

stepping lightly and slowly

silently praying that we can both find the tune again.

#26 (1/5/2009)-I Wish I May

she used to wish on stars

sending all her focus to the brightest of them all

took that philosophy and applied it to life

"star light, star bright; first star I see tonight..."

first star I see tonight

first star I see tonight

no one told her that she didn't have to give all her energy to one star

let alone the first she sees

tell her to hold on to her wish

gaze at all the stars

the one for her may not be the first

possibilities are limitless in the skies

so her choice is hers for the making

any one of those stars should be blessed to have her wish

just as any is willing to take it

but she has to be careful

take advantage of discernment

it may not be the first star she sees tonight.

#27 (1/6/2009)-Wait List.

Dear You,

it's been a while since we've talked

now let's skip the specifics

i know what this is about

crowding the screen of my smart phone with your dumb ass questions

"how's life?" "how you been?"

all filler; the warm up to the matter at hand

you wanna know a lot of things

but the question that pulses in the front of your mind

never to leave your lips, unless uttered in some incoherent, secret coded fashion

"you still, um...intact?"

"made that move yet?"

and a personal favorite

"still locking it down?"

you no longer have permission

to even have the balls to ask me this question

lack of patience canceled out your like for me

causing my tolerance to dissipate

but I thank you anyway for showing me who you really were

almost laughed when you said you'd wait until my say-so...

who told you my say so would be for you?

holding on to my last piece of me

and you just want a piece of me

so I'll continue to cradle what's mine

grab onto it like you would your nuts

spit my excuses like you spit your game

because that's what it's turned into

cheap trinkets leading to the top prize

news flash: movie tickets, paid dinners, bells and whistles

approval by your closest niggas

even meeting the woman who brought you into this world

won't bring you into mine

takes much more

so simple, but if you can't figure out

you're certainly not what I'm looking for

so just think

it could've been you

to venture to an unchartered land

make my body quake with the softest touch of your hand

mark your territory by putting your lips on places

then laugh later about my "during" faces

but I won't say too much

it's been a long time

and we've lost touch

all I can do is smile

at a lame attempt to learn about something

that was temporarily worth your while

suffering from Til It's Gone Syndrome

and a horrible case of raging testosterone

besides

if you'd really like to know "how" I am

do yourself a small favor.

ask my man.

#28 (1/7/2009)-Challenge

Someone tell Satan

To come harder than this. Back

to the drawing board.

#29 (1/8/2009)-Forestry Melodies

from your veins to mine

take me on a ride

drift on clouds as I float away

I wish not to come back

this is where I belong

self discovery is prevalent in this place

taken to the conscious of my conscious

true self resides

escape to new planes through your vapors

a burning sweetness enters lungs

secretions of carelessness seep through me

show me what's really trivial

who's to blame me for wanting this rescue

the real world is far worse than this

but you help me temporarily forget

thought I would keep you to myself

but others sing your praises

guess they need the same help

it's a love/love relationship

you and I

I'm stuck to your side

you stick to my hands

let those ignorant bastards say what they please

we both know what's best for me

try to keep you away

you're a moneymaker

and there are some who will abuse you

but they will never appreciate the experience

as we do

you're everywhere

and I can't be all those places at one time

but I can in my mind.

#30 (1/9/2009)-Career Day

it's almost his turn

hearing the same aspirations back to back

has made him tired

everyone wants to be nurse

football or basketball player

and every now and again

lawyer is thrown in the mix

but today's his day to wow the crowd

4th grade mind already equipped beyond his years

he steps up to the front of his class

faces his peers

burgandy uniform pants etching detailed stories of yesterday's play date

and his shirt is transforming to a slight beige

but his notebook is spotless

chest held high, eyes straight ahead

he braces himself for laughter

what he's about to say is utterly ridiculous

"When I grow up, I'm going to be President."

the room falls silent

searches his classmates' eyes for approval

and is surprised to see all smiles

waits for teacher's predictable snicker

and hears nothing

but sees the single tear drop from his teacher's eye

the silence lets him know

it's now possible

it can be done.

Whew! I finally finished it! Every poem has been sitting in my journal, waiting to be typed since the 9th. But...you know what I said earlier. Anyways, I hope this 30/30 has been pleasing to you, and if it hasn't...*shrug* don't know. I will say it was a challenge for me, but I will most definitely be doing this again soon.

(deuces.)

btw: If you're a new reader and you haven't had the chance to catch up on my 30/30, or have no idea of what the hell I'm talking about, click these links and get on the ball!
1/30
2/30
3/30
4/30
5/30
6/30
7/30
8/30
9/30
10/30
11/30
12/30
13/30
14/30
15/30
16/30

as promised...30/30 continues!

*Don't judge me. I know I took a minute, but if you read my mini disclaimer a few posts back, you should know that this takes time, focus and energy to type. I'm going to compile the rest (14 poems!) into 2 posts. Read, comment, and most of all...enjoy!*

#17 (12/27/2008)- Black Panther

Left fists raised in air

Serve as a bridge for lost souls

Back to the Motherland.

#18 (12/28/2008)-Speak No...

It's the little things

Body language and signals

To say "I love you".

#19 (12/29/2008)-Untitled

Dreams with no standards

Like mind's playground left idle

Devil can play now.

#20 (12/30/2008)-Kinte Cloth and Moonstones

Sitting while others stodd to salute the flag

Just in 2nd grade

Marked different since before she could remember

Home specially tailored into her school uniforms

Made her an easy target for school bullies

But at the same time illuminated her individuality

Now, the things she was teased for

Is what has made her well known

Popular in her own way

While others struggle to stay on the radar.

#21 (12/31/2008)-Body Talk

Funny how we don't need words anymore

Simple nouns and verbs

phrases in Webster's

Can neither define or confine what we have

love bursting through pages

so let's make our own

watch attentively

you'll learn all you need by simply looking at me

just as I watch you

feel my heart flutter after I kiss your lips

and I smile to watch your body sigh

saying you love me without saying you love me

cherish the twinkle in your eye when you've missed me

tightness of your embrace telling me you need me

a love beyond words

spoken so loudly

but no words are ever heard.

#22 (1/1/2009)-The Kitchen

I shake my locs, yeah

Feel just like a lioness

When I do it, too.

#23 (1/2/2009)-The Kitchen (Extended)

they're free when I can't be

defying the laws of media

very rare that you see these on tv

follicle breeds into follicle

strands tight enough to break teeth

no comb breching through here

and please, don't get it confused

my locs are in no way fashionable

adorning my head like a crown

make a statement without making a statement

history in each root

fusing my mind's energy for all to see

flowing past my shoulders

creating their own dance as they finally curtain my back

doubling as a cape and shield

like samson

here is where I harness my strength

so requests to touch are easily denied

no one is just granted access inside

my locs represent something that is never fully understood

me.

poem 16/30: announcement (haiku #3)

"i love you" is not
a magic phrase to get legs
open. try again.

poem 15/30: little crimson waves

"you know you can't get it back"
her mother's words echoed in the back of her mind
playing like an ironic soundtrack
no time for mother's wisdom
she must focus
he smiles above her
"you sure you're ready?"
she isn't, really
but his sincerity in asking
brushing the stray hairs from her face
looking directly into her eyes
makes her more ready than ever
a slow nod serves as her green light
she holds her breath to prepare
stories told to her about searing pain the first time
made her apprehensive
he assured her that he would go slow
the bass in his voice makes her thighs quiver
or was it nerves?
closed her eyes while he guided his hands over her untouched, inexperienced body
sigh of relief escapes her lips as she watched him reach for protection
each step further makes her heart pound harder
a small whimper escapes her throat
she's parted for the first time
the only thing that was hers now belongs to someone else
with each thrust making her more and more a woman
in a little girl's body
no need to regret anything
mommy already said she can't get it back.

poem 14/30: another poem about you

haven't known you long
but i can write about you as if i've known you forever
you've been walking along the path of my future
waiting to meet me
it's almost as if you watched me go through pain
frustration
confusion and hurt
understood those temporaries
and did exactly the opposite
i requested one thing from you
in return you gave me the world
your world.
kisses dance on my lips
making mental soundtracks to fit every moment we've spent together
even the cheesy moments get honorable mentions
"you miss me?"
"baby, i miss you when i blink and you're right in front of me."
levels of corny only we know
serve as laugh tracks
set to cue during the dramatic/traumatic scenes
break the uncomfortable silence
things to look back on, only to look forward
too
i now quench for those moments
bring back the normalcy
my appetite for you is insatiable
and it's because you make it so
giving me your all
one piece at a time
leaving me something to look back and cherish
and once again
look forward to.

poem 13/30: is it a crime?

if she could just steal some more of his time
"I know I can make him mine"
laid out a plan
walk is more seductive
speech sexy, slow
all for a man she doesn't know
trained herself to go with the flow
common sense and dignity are void and fargone
one night stand?
she could settle for that
because she knows he'll be back
just one chance is all she needs
get him hooked, reel him in
but little does she know, he won't be back again
that sparkle on his fourth finger, left hand indicates hurt to come
reality will set just as quickly as the sun
and just as sure as she is about having him after one night
he's just as sure that he's going home to his wife.

poem 12/30: big words (haiku#2)

get my attention
by using words with more than
just two syllables.

poem 11/30: shorty

her short skirts
tight jeans
cleavage broadcasting shirts
loud moth
suggestive eyes
swaying hips
and "fuck me" pumps
do not necessarily or literally imply just that
her actions may not be an invitation
but a cry for help.

poem 10/30: heart.beat.

a year and a half into life
you struck into my heart
from daddy's hands to my ears
we've become inseperable
my way of life and my signature
who I am
i can say anything through you
each note vibrating through chakras
reinforce the heartbeat
you flow through me then reach the hearts of others
remind them of who they are
and if i stop playing, i am no longer myself
and if you stop, the world will cease to breathe
you represent a vital organ
and while i march to my own tune
root notes always lead me back to you
dancing on polyrhythms like blood flowing through veins
some hear you and are forever changed
what's funny are the people who claim they've never seen or heard of you
or closed minds who say you're for one kind of people
but all they need to do
is unlock the furthest recesses of their mind
and they will find you
watered down through hiphop and popular music
but those who truly know you
hear you in the shortest of songs
cherish you
like the very air we breathe
and feel you
like the very stick striking the head
feeling every single drop of blood flowing through the heart.

poem 9/30: en vogue (haiku)

just because you switched
up your game does not mean that
you will get the goods.

poem 8/30: dreams of Paris

God forbid the day I meet you is at your funeral
heard your name only one handful of times
pieced together my own vision of you
army man with a country accent
and even though you hate him, i'm sure you look like daddy
but you could be none of those things
what i am sure of
is the fact that we're blood
my oldest brother
product of a rolling stone and a young mind looking for affection in the wrong places
now a known unknown
find myself wondering if i have any nieces and nephews
living in the same city as me
missing out on play fights
real fights
and "boy" talks
you were supposed to teach me what you know about the birds and the bees
tease me when i peaked puberty
be the threatening looming presence at the seeing off of my first prom
but your mother planted a seed
and you nursed it on your own
hatred for father spawned your eventual disappearance
it is I who wants to know you
I am a product as well
not the problem
do not run from me.
there's still time
be the threatening looming presence to the man I want to marry
give the piggyback rides you owe me to your future niece and nephew
be my blood
all i need is an introduction
at least a genuine mental picture
curious to see who you look like
whose habits you've picked up
lefty or righty
blue or white collar
so many things to learn about someone who should be here
my brother
a complete stranger.

poem 7/30: bars

i barely remember your voice
but i do remember
thick plated bullet proof glass
baritone notes busting through static filled phones
mommy just wants to hug you
wrinkles in her forehead displaying her distaste in this place
but her children need to know their blood
uncle was always in high spirits
despite the circumstances
victim of "wrong place, wrong time"
beautiful mind confined to an 8X8 cell
no windows to feed you light
designed to break your spirit
but in my young age, I already admired your strength
i was only 7, jabari was three
you loved us like you made us
told mommy not to be so hard
encouraged my banging on tables, pots and pans
critiqued my poetry, told me to keep writing
you passed your passions through the bars to us
to keep yourself alive
never got out when you were supposed to
mommy whispered to daddy while at home
you were fighting everyday
self defense
so security at its maximum was your destination
gave all of yourself to us
like you knew you were leaving soon
and when you came home, you were finally Freed a couple of years later
Jabari's too young to remember your funeral
but let mommy tell it
he acts just like you
evidence that you're still here
and i keep writing
drumming
teaching
living
for you, beyond the bars.

poem 6/30: we real cool '08.

we pop shit. we
shoot quick. we
need love. we
worship drugs. we
die for fame. we
don't change. we
stay the same. we've
lost our names.

btw: Gwendolyn Brooks? Dope.

:o)

poem 5/30: untitled

i tried to write you a poem
but the words you need to hear will never make it to paper
told myself i'd just tell you later
but thoughts run wild; i watch my emotions fade like vapors
i tried to give you the world
put my life and love on a silver platter
spun the moon and stars on the tips of my fingers
showing you and the universe my devtion
only to trip and fall into your abysmal past
feeling a void because i gave you my world
but i stepped into yours and someone else was already there
i gave you my essence
life
heart
love
i gave you me.