I Need A Vacation.

So, I'm taking one! Starting tomorrow, I'll be out of town with the fam and some special friends.
Promise to come back with pictures, and MORE blogs!
I'm back!

Yup. Greatness Runs In The Family.

If you live in Baltimore, or watch any news at all, you'll remember a story about a pitbull being set on fire and a police officer putting the fire out.

The officer is my cousin. That's right, bizzles.

""We just pulled up and saw the dog in the middle of the street, rolling around and on fire," Teel said. "It was screaming. I pulled my sweater off and tried to put the fire out."

The officer noticed people standing around. "I asked if anybody saw anything, but nobody did," Teel said.

It's a refrain heard across the city, frustrating officers who feel under siege and alone in caring, spouted by people by rote whether the person actually saw anything or not.

Asked again on Tuesday if anyone in the neighborhood saw the dog being burned, Teel said with a laugh: "Of course not."

Then she added, "The dog, he just stood there, helpless." Perhaps "Stop Snitching" now extends to animals."

*photo and story excerpt courtesy of The Baltimore Sun.

The Mayor has since given Officer Syreeta Teel official honors for her bravery. I feel like a proud mother.

The dog unfortunately was euthanized after several days and several attempts to save her life. There was an outpouring of people calling offering their own money to aide in the search for who committed the crime. At last update, the reward stands at $24,500. More recently, a set of 17-year-old twin boys have been named as the culprits.

I'm not gonna walk around throwing blood on your fake fur coat, but animals hold a soft spot in my heart. Hearing this story still makes me sad. I hope the punishment isn't too harsh, but punishment enough.

(deuces.)

Another Missing Pieces Update!

As promised, I have another update on my new found family members! Everything is going great, Mooney has been coming to performances and all. We've hung out a couple of times and are still in the process of getting to know eachother, but so far things are looking up.

The best thing about typing this post is being able to tell you all that he wants to meet our father! I've gotten into the habit of not talking about our father because I know it's a sensitive subject, but so far every conversation about him has been initiated by my brother. I saw him this past Friday and he said he'd like to see him. We both understand that it will definitely be awkward, but it's something that should be done. I'm not expecting them to become the best of friends immediately; taking weekend fishing trips, but anywhere other than where they both are now is a start, and you can tell there's a void that needs to be filled. Super excited about that because I can tell my father has been harboring a lot of pain behind this whole ordeal, which isn't totally his fault, and he's ready to get rid of it after 38 years. I'm looking forward to the "first" meeting.

I've also been getting in contact with my older sister, whom I haven't seen since I almost died in '02 (that's another story). My niece got a chance to come over and visit, she's 14 now and one helluva basketball player. Just found out my nephew actually goes to the high school right up the street from me, so there's a chance I may have driven by him too many times to count. Got some particularly bad news about two older nephews of mine, but I'm hoping they'll be fine. My brother and I plan on going to give them some auntie and uncle tough love, even if one of them happens to be older than me. Obviously, someone wasn't giving them enough of whatever they were looking for.

More updates will follow, hopefully with great news!

(deuces.)

a few random things that made my week AWESOME:

-Quality time with my niece

-Getting more hours at work (=more money!)

-Buying a new phone

-Finding someone to buy my old phone

-Not feeling bad about spending money on a phone because I'm getting more than half my money spent right back for selling the old phone

-Finding a check while cleaning up, meaning I know have more than half of my money back from buying the new phone

-Seeing my name in the credits beside "Audio Engineer" at my new job

-Seeing old family and friends at Nu World rehearsal earlier in the week

-Going to the movies twice in one week

...and it's only Friday! Hope your week/end brings you just as much awesomeness.

(dueces.)

UPDATE: Missing Pieces

As promised, I told you that I would have an update on my meeting my older brother. Well, everything went great! Jungle and I are still talking about it. We went out to eat last Saturday; my younger brother and I, and my brother and his wife. Moms joined us a little later. We sat and talked for almost two hours before we even ordered anything! When we first got there, Jungle and I played the "do you think that's him?" game, as he had called and said he was 4 minutes behind me. Finally getting inside and passing the brief awkward moment of looking for someone with no knowledge of what they look like, in a public place no less, someone stood up in front of me and said

"Z? I'm Mooney. This is my wife Trina."

This man looks exactly like me. He's short and stocky. That's me in a nutshell, sans the anatomy. Of course I didn't see it as soon as I saw him, but after sitting for a while and examining facial features; trying to catch a glimpse of daddy, I finally started to see the resemblance. Him and little brother's hands are exactly the same. Overall we had a great time. He explained to us that his children wanted to come along, but they all had prior obligations, but they're down for the next time. Jungle already has a 2K9/Madden challenge from his nephew, and both our nieces are eager to meet us. We tripped about the fact that Mooney's favorite thing to do is cook, and his specialty is lasagna; so he's like his father in more ways than one! My dad's lasagna is a crowd pleaser, so hearing my brother say that he loves to cook--without knowing that his father's a beast in the kitchen until I told him--was amazing to me. Him and his wife have been married for 20 years, so not only did I find my brother, but I now have a sister-in-law. The blessings just keep pouring in.

There was a lot of questions asked, catching up and story sharing. What made the both of us excited was the fact that he almost seemed more excited to meet than we did. When he picked up the check once it came, my mother told him that he didn't have to pay for everything. I was so happy when he looked at her and said

"I met my little brother and sister today, so this is nothing."

There were so many highlights of that evening, but I feel I'd go scatterbrained if I tried to reiterate them all. Just know that it was a beyond perfect reunion. We're all supposed to hang out this weekend; the four of us, his children and our younger sister he'd like to meet. There were short bursts of conversation about our father, so I'm taking that as a good sign. 2009 is looking like an excellent year for me. I've found my family, so who knows what else I will accomplish this year!

(deuces.)

Missing Pieces and Rolling Stones

As promised, I'm back, and boyyyyyy do I have a story to tell. I also noticed that I've been behind on some comments on the blogs I follow, so forgive me; I'm working my way back on track so you'll see something from me shortly!

Alright, I never blogged about this because I'm one of those "don't count your chickens before they hatch" type of people. I wanted things to pan out a little further before I opened my mouth, sometimes when you say something too soon things don't really happen the way you thought they would. I did, however, post a poem via my 30/30 a while back. But, everything seems to be going well so far, and I realized that I may have a reader (anon or otherwise) that has gone through or is going through the same thing, so why not share my story, right?

For the past few years, I've been looking for my older brother. My father told my brother and I about him when we were a little younger, I'd say I was 17 or 18. He never came as a surprise, especially after meeting a younger sister when I was 10, but I was always intrigued because he seemed like a sensitive subject to my father. Whenever I would ask about him, I got the same bits of information: first name (maybe the last), where he may be living...and now that I think about it, that's pretty much all I got. There were a lot of questions to go unanswered, like the question of why I didn't know him in the first place.

Fast forward to present time; last Monday. A coworker had given me a website that's used to locate people. I've tried different sites before and never got any desirable results, so I was a little skeptical of this site to say the least. I was also growing impatient; it was frustrating being the only one that was serious in finding my brother. My father's mother promised to try and find the last phone number she had that could help me, my brother's mother. No luck there. My father pretty much went into lockdown mode whenever I said my brother's name, so I gave up in asking him anything and decided to do this thing on my own. I'm playing around on the website, procrastinating really, when I decide to give it a shot. I type in my brother's name--and got way too many search results with too much information. Came to the conclusion that I would go back and try his name another time, so I tried typing in his mother's name. How crazy is it that ONE search result came up? The age was about right, the address and phone number were local...and the website had this feature that lists relatives linked to the search result--my brother's name was on the list. There was also a Norfolk, VA address linked to the search result, which was where I was told my brother lives. My gut told me to take a chance, so I wrote down the name, address and phone number of my who I believed to be was my brother's mother; and psyched myself up to call as soon as I got off from work.

IT WAS HER.

My mind was completely blown! She answered the phone, and once I asked "...is this Wilma *****?", things took off from there. She was surprised at how I found her information, and she of course had questions for me--how many more brothers and sisters I have, how old I am, why I wanted to find my brother, etc. Everything was moving so fast, I'd been actively looking for my brother for almost three years, and this is the closest I've gotten. Pretty damned good, right?! Our conversation went pretty smoothly, she assured me that she would give my brother my cellphone number. She couldn't promise that he would call, but she would talk to him because she believes we all have the right to "know who your siblings are, no matter the circumstancs between the parents". I thanked her for talking to me, ended the call and then cried in my car on the way home from work.

...and if you thought it was over...
*insert random 'can't stop, won't stop' Diddy soundbyte*

I'm happy to say my brother called last Friday! He's 38 years old, and I have two nieces and one nephew to add to my auntie roster. They're 20, 19 and 15. My brother's a Navy brat/retired police officer, which is totally ironic considering my distaste for law enforcement. The kicker to our whole conversation was that he told me he lives in northeast Baltimore. It may not seem like a big deal, but understand this: I spent a great deal of my mid-teenage life working in northeast as a mentor/performer, so I'm sure I've crossed him at least a few times, especially in his field. He sounds just like my other brothers, which leads me to believe that he looks exactly like daddy. But we'll see; he said he'd like to meet! I'm so excited and happy...and relieved. I feel like the piece that I thought was missing has been filled. I've always been unsettled with the possiblity that I could've went to school with one of my nephews/nieces (it happened before, I had a nephew in the same grade and same school), or perhaps my younger brother could have been pursuing his niece as a potential suitor, all because we didn't know who our family was! It's truly a blessing to have found him this fast. My mother's proud of me and how much passion I attacked this "case" with, but I find it unsettling knowing that I have a sibling that I don't even know what he looks like. That's about to change.

I'll keep you all updated as Operation: Family Unite/Expansion continues. In the meantime, if anyone has any stories of finding a loved one, sibling or not, feel free to hit up the comment section and spill your guts!

See, Riv? I had good darn reason to be gone, and it wasn't boo loving. Ha! :P

(deuces.)

Awkward Turtle!

So...I totally grasp the whole "it's a small world" concept. Six degrees of separation. I got it. But, is there any reason why I needed to experience its...smallness...in IMAX stereo? Let me tell you what happened...

My cousin turned 21 last week, and to celebrate, last night his sister decided to throw a small get together for him when he came home from school. Everything's going great; the family was all there so we got to have some "remember when" moments. Since my cousin is legal legal now, you know there were some adult beverages to partake in, and those "remember when" moments turned into "I didn't know that happened!"; you know you never hear whole stories about anything as a child. We're watching movies, enjoying nostalgia and partying. Allll good.

BAM. My cousin announces that her homegirl is on the way. Nothing unusual, right? Wrong. A few minutes later, said homegirl arrives with her boyfriend...

...and my ex boyfriend right behind them.

Um, wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke?! Apparently it was; my cousin, brother and his girlfriend had a great time pointing and laughing at my clearly visible shock. I haven't seen my ex in years, and here he was in front of me, in my cousin's house! I assumed that he was tagging along with homegirl's boyfriend, that was the only logic that seemed to make sense at the time. So of course he saw me, and simultaneously this Cheshire Cat grin spreads across his face. God, help me. I just chalked his attendance up as pure coincidence, chucked a deuce his way and made my way to the kitchen. Ciroc was calling my name, and I intended to answer.

After I shared this story with the people who know of my ex, everyone had the same follow-up questions: What did you do? Was it awkward having him around? Well, I didn't do anything. After the initial awkwardness quelled, we actually played a nice game of catch up with eachother. And it wasn't uncomfortable having him around because, well, we happened a longgggggg time ago. I'd compare my romantic feelings for him to that of an inactive volcano. I was 16 when I first met him, and up until Scuba, he was my first and only boyfriend. We were serious, too; like that meet some of your family members, take pictures at the mall (in matching gear) kind of serious. Awwwwww. Really, I met him in a time where I was in that crappy low self-esteem phase; I was going through minimal bouts of depression (another story in itself), and things on the family front was just that--a front. He was there to make me forget, and he did a great job of doing so. The only thing that hindered him and consequently us was his desire to have his cake and eat it too. He made jerk decisions, and because I was naive I put up with it for a while, but once I started feeling better about myself, I was able to let go of him without taking myself through a mental rollercoaster. I'll admit, I have missed him from time to time. Not us, but him; he may have been stupid with his decisions but he was and is still a great person. His friend game was tight, but the boyfriend game needed a little work.

I got a message from him this morning, saying that he was happy to hang around me and my brother, and he misses being around us. He also stated that he thinks we should all start chilling together again. Eh. We'll see. This is definitely something I'm going to let play out until I have to make my own move.

(deuces.)

just for kicks: peep the header photo...

...yeah, the picture at the tippy top of the blog. The biiiig picture.
Ha, it's me. Just had a sweet moment of nostalgia with moms for a quick second; started looking at pictures from yesteryear. You know, sit on the couch and reminisce for hours type of nostalgia. That picture was taken in a time where my daddy's short fro was still only slightly peppered with gray, and me and mommy's hair was cornrowed in similar patterns...with wooden beads, thank you. It also reminds me of a time I sometimes miss most; a time when phrases like "bank account" and "payment due" weren't in my not-too-limited vernacular. A time when I had no idea what cooties even was...and what was the big deal about boys, anyway?? The only thing I was concerned with was being in front of the tv in time for Care Bears, Smurfs, Reading Rainbow (my all-time-FAVORITE); and making sure I carried my "My First Library" series with me whereever I went.

Ahhhh. I really, really miss those days.

But...check the Garfield nightgown, though. And...are those minnie mouse slippers?
Who's working on building a time machine?! Sheesh!

(deuces.)

the post of randomness: new section alert!

Take a look to the right of my blog. Yep, right above the followers list.

I'd like to introduce my new section of my blog layout: Why Watch Comedy...When I've Got Family? It'll feature some of the funniest and most random things I've ever heard, from the people I love most: my family. I've got one up now from my good friend Franky, link to his blog is included. I'll try to change it up as frequently as I can, and if there are links I'll provide them.

Yeah, I know. I kinda wasted space, but who cares? I think my new section is theeeee sheeeet. Feel free to comment on them as well, whenever you can.

(deuces.)

is the economy to blame?

Everyone is starting to feel the effects of the country's recession in one way or another. The biggest businesses are begging for money after sucking the consumers dry (how funny is that, GMC?), and others are cutting their losses and filing Chapter 11s faster than I can say Bank Of America. We've already cut 70,000 jobs this year, and things seem to be getting worse before they can get better.

My question is this: when does it become so, so bad that you'll take your own life and the lives of the ones you love?
For a man in Los Angeles, I guess he decided enough was enough. After both him and his wife were fired from their technician jobs at Kaiser Permanente, he went home; killed his wife, his five children...and then himself.
It's been reported that Ervin Antonio Lupoe called 911 to inform the police that he came home and his family had been murdered. But police investigators are ruling out that possibility and calling it murder-suicide. At the same time of receiving the emergency call, local news station KABC-TV received a suicide note via fax and notified the proper autorities.

"So after a horrendous ordeal my wife felt it better to end our lives and why leave our children in someone's else's hands, in addition it seems Kiaser Permanente want's us to kill ourselves and take our family with us. They did nothing to the manager who stated such, and did not attempt to assist us in the matter, knowing we have no job and 5 children under 8 years with no place to go. So here we are.
Ervin Lupoe"

You can read the rest of the note sent to the TV station here.

I understand that this is a trying time for everyone, employed and otherwise. It's harder now to keep your job than to get one. But...this is something I don't even want to attempt to make logical.

My heart aches for his family, and those children--one 8 year old, and two sets of twins, ages 2 and 5. I personally understand what it means to struggle financially, but taking the lives of your seeds should never be an option. I also can never fully understand what another man is going through, losing a job after your wife has been fired...and having the blessed burden of six other mouths to feed...but if you want to take the "easy" way out, take it alone.

R.I.P. Brittney, Jaszmin, Jasseley, Christian, Benjamin, Ana and Ervin Lupoe.

(deuces.)

umbrella drinks and mopeds

Free drinks.

Free parties.

Beautiful people.

Beautiful atmosphere.

Breathtaking sights.

Quality R&R.

Did I mention the free drinks?!

It was the family's second time vacationing here, but the Dominican Republic is now one of my favorite places to travel to. My brother and I were pretty much "famous" the first time we went (because of our hair, everyone called us "Ras"; and my brother's slightly uncanny resemblance to to Weezy F. Baby), so walking through the steets of Puerto Plata at night was not a big deal, though tour guides heavily advised not to do so. We met a lot of great families, made some new friends, and partied to the point of post party amnesia.

I have here just a few pictures of our trip. Some pictures will have a little story/caption attached. Hope you enjoy, and if you'd like to see some more vacation stories, post a comment and let me know!

Pops was complaining because he "never gets to take a picture with my DAW-TUH!"

Taking it back to the old school...

I only asked for this drink, known as "The Rainbow", because the name was the first thing I saw on the menu. Be advised: this should not be consumed in the wee hours of the morning.

We even party in the rain, son!

Pops was partying the night away

The unofficial sand logo, lol

Isabella, the Pina Colada lady. We had to buy something from us before she cursed us...literally.

My brother made a lot of new friends on New Years. She's a special one, right?

Me and my new buddy Dany, "but for YOU, it's FREEEE!" LOL. Funny stories about this guy. I'd like to call him the Dominican Young Jeezy.

White Russians before the official countdown.

Me and moms posing for the camera before we head out to the New Years shindig

Everyone rides mopeds, you hear me? EVERYONE.

Get a couple shots in before we leave! Quick!

My fam and our new fam that we met while on vacation. We may be related, some last names match.

I've got bunches more, but I think a few is good enough. The entire album will be posted via Myspace, so if you add me (or have added me already) you can view them there. Hope you enjoyed, because I'm glad to have finally posted this! Woo-hoo! Next up: the mythical 30/30, lol...

(deuces.)

psychology.

*before I begin, I'd like to gloat and say...check out my blog spree, kid.

B-)

True, it's not what I've been saying I'll post; truthfully, I know those posts will require more attention and time. This post, the five previous, and maybe more to follow, have been strictly off the cranium. Happenstance, if you will. I'd advise you to enjoy it while it lasts; I'm human, and subject to brain farts, thus; lack of focus/drive from time to time. To be frank: Blogging won't be priority for some time. :)

I'm taking this mental regurgitation as a blessing, because writing is definitely still my second greatest release. Music is still the first love. Although, some would argue that writing/poetry is music. I'm rambling.

To the post.*

I talk about Scuba Steve a lot. But, honestly, at the end of the day; Scuba isn't the one who brought me into this world and basically molded me to love him (ha, my own "I love you", to you babe). I've gotta talk about the woman who knows me better than any person ever will. Seriously. We shared an umbilical cord, man. An umbilical cord.

It's mommy!

Twins, right? Those who know us know that it's terribly difficult to distinguish who's who over the phone; and I've been subject to many an unwanted conversation because people call for moms, assume it's her when it's really me, and keep talking. She's the one who I tell literally everything to; I confide in her even when some things I tell her may hurt her, because she wants to be there for me in any way possible. She helps me when she knows she shouldn't or doesn't have to. We compete against eachother in silly little contests, like the ticket stub count. And no matter how many times she may say it, I really do know a good half of those life lessons she's always talking about. I'm an old soul, and I credit that to her, but she sometimes doesn't give me credit in knowing because...well, she's mommy.
My mother is a mental health therapist. She used to work directly with clients; substance abusers who have mental illnesses, but now she serves as a Grant Director for a counseling program. Smart as a whip. And due to her psychology background, she often benefits in having in-house patients: myself, my brother and father. Last night, my brother and I were tripping because we finally figured out one of moms' tactics. Ha! We finally have it down to a science. It's like this: you're in trouble, and YOUR response could either further the trouble you're in, or kill the whole situation. You can either diffuse the situation, or say the wrong thing and face consequences. The thing about the latter is...she can confuse you; make you think you're off the hook, then the next thing you know, it's 7AM (on your day off) and you're the victim of a random tongue lashing while half asleep. No bueno.

So, moms: we've got you figured out, somewhat. Regardless of the mind games (ohhhhh, the games), you're still an awesome woman. Don't stop being awesome.
I'm only being cheesy-nice because I'm hoping to inherit that psychology gene to use on my children. I've been waiting for so long to say "because I said so!"...*evil laugh*

(deuces.)

poem 8/30: dreams of Paris

God forbid the day I meet you is at your funeral
heard your name only one handful of times
pieced together my own vision of you
army man with a country accent
and even though you hate him, i'm sure you look like daddy
but you could be none of those things
what i am sure of
is the fact that we're blood
my oldest brother
product of a rolling stone and a young mind looking for affection in the wrong places
now a known unknown
find myself wondering if i have any nieces and nephews
living in the same city as me
missing out on play fights
real fights
and "boy" talks
you were supposed to teach me what you know about the birds and the bees
tease me when i peaked puberty
be the threatening looming presence at the seeing off of my first prom
but your mother planted a seed
and you nursed it on your own
hatred for father spawned your eventual disappearance
it is I who wants to know you
I am a product as well
not the problem
do not run from me.
there's still time
be the threatening looming presence to the man I want to marry
give the piggyback rides you owe me to your future niece and nephew
be my blood
all i need is an introduction
at least a genuine mental picture
curious to see who you look like
whose habits you've picked up
lefty or righty
blue or white collar
so many things to learn about someone who should be here
my brother
a complete stranger.

poem 7/30: bars

i barely remember your voice
but i do remember
thick plated bullet proof glass
baritone notes busting through static filled phones
mommy just wants to hug you
wrinkles in her forehead displaying her distaste in this place
but her children need to know their blood
uncle was always in high spirits
despite the circumstances
victim of "wrong place, wrong time"
beautiful mind confined to an 8X8 cell
no windows to feed you light
designed to break your spirit
but in my young age, I already admired your strength
i was only 7, jabari was three
you loved us like you made us
told mommy not to be so hard
encouraged my banging on tables, pots and pans
critiqued my poetry, told me to keep writing
you passed your passions through the bars to us
to keep yourself alive
never got out when you were supposed to
mommy whispered to daddy while at home
you were fighting everyday
self defense
so security at its maximum was your destination
gave all of yourself to us
like you knew you were leaving soon
and when you came home, you were finally Freed a couple of years later
Jabari's too young to remember your funeral
but let mommy tell it
he acts just like you
evidence that you're still here
and i keep writing
drumming
teaching
living
for you, beyond the bars.

poem 4/30: family reunion

"You know Man's locked up"
Laughed at the irony of that statement
Man never became a man
Came to that fork in the road and turned back when he decided to touch her with his man-child hands
Took advantage of her admiration for him
Little tomboy got a fave big cousin
Things appeared to be all good, but really wasn't
Tainting her innocence with his ignorance
He didn't know any better
Turning her childhood games into future backstories for therapy sessions
She never wants to play "house" again
Introduced her to things she shouldn't know about
Until she begins to question them on her own
Grown up roles, but neither of them is grown
Pissed off every time she went to his house to see his mother wasn't home
Didn't know what this thing was
But knew what your aim was
Showing her that she's already mentally too much for you
Man's in a Man's body
With a boy's frame of mind
She feels sorry for him
Nearly a grown ass man
Taking something he should get from his future girlfriend
Wife
Fuck buddy
Whatever
From a little girl's forced touch
Then get around the family and pretend you loved her so much...
too much.
She wouldn't eat at family cookouts
One look from him would have grilled food hitting hot pavement
Reminding her of that pissy ass basement
Something she's done hard to repress
But hearing his name today reopened that hole in her chest
All she can do is continue to live
And over time find the will to forgive
She just prays no breakdown when she sees your face
And hopes his memory won't smudge out her future husband's place
Such a stain on her life she wishes to leave in the past
"...you know Man's out now..."
And she just laughs.

30/30, 20/20 and updates; oh my!

For those who enjoyed the holiday last week, stuffing yourself until your pants opened up on their own, great job.

I'm going to try and keep this brief...
Just took a look at my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything...well, personal...in a good while. I mean, my blog is titled "Oooh, Hecky Nawl; That Guhl Is Raw." for a reason, and according to the tagline I typed for the description, I'm supposed to be guiding you readers (sans seatbelt) through my random, turbulent, awesomely awesome music-filled life. However, the past few weeks for me? Not enough time in the day, not enough emotions in my mental bank or for my hormones to handle, and ultimately no time to blog unless it was something nonrelated to my stressful life--at the moment. Between work, more work, performances, personal problems and holiday time, something had to be left on the back burner. What's been going on, you ask? Allow me to bring you up to speed:

-Spent some time in Philly with the fam. My cousin is a student at UArts and she had a performance/final to put on, so everyone (check the picture) drove up to see her. I enjoyed the whole show, seeing other students pieces was pretty fun, but her piece stole the show. She really made her sister proud. Filling up half of the theater was pretty hilarious as well, all the chairs marked "Reserved for Wombwork Productions, Inc." LMAO, the families of the other students were livid.

-Thanksgiving was wonderful. Dinner at two houses? I won't complain. Didn't really eat much, but the time for family fellowship is always welcome to me. My best friend's also been in town, so I got a chance to hang out with him; and my cousin finally came home from Frostburg State University for the holiday break.

-Nu World was presented with the opportunity to perform for the Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He came to Baltimore to speak about outreach programs in the city. He was very excited to hear "music from home", as we did our very best rendition of a Miriam Makeba classic; a South African freedom song that literally translates "our mothers prayed, and because they prayed; we're still here, we're still fighting and we'll never give up the struggle for total freedom." Awkward moment: the whole event was held in a Catholic church, so after the choir sang their songs, and we performed...no applause. Weird. Very funny man, I swear. He had us (Nu World) cracking up as he practically shat on America, saying things like, "Your country is very funny, yes? What other place can you go where someone drags a man behind a truck, then elects a man of African descent as president?! Amazing!" or "First you have 700 BILLION dollars...then...poof! It's all gone! How?" I enjoyed being in his energy, he's a political icon, and now one more person I can check off of my "People I'd Like to Meet" list. This year alone I performed for the Last Poets, met Amiri Baraka, and now I can say I've performed for Desmond Tutu. Now, if I could just touch the hem of Angela Davis' garment...lmao. She's #1 on the list.

-Got some new specks. Ahhhh, yes, I'm a tad visually impaired. Only a tad, though; I'm not required to wear my glasses all the time, only during long periods at the PC and reading. I think they look pretty neat. The best part about them? F-R-E-E! Yes, I did get up at 6:30AM to make sure I got a free eye exam and free glasses. Free. My favorite word. Ha.

-And finally: Scuba Steve. Wowwwww. We've really been through it since 11/15. I've felt like I've been holding my breath for two and a half weeks, but as of today, everything is okay. Well, not okay; but better than what they've been. We've both got a lot of work to do. I won't go into details about exactly what happened, but I will say that I've matured significantly during this off time. Something from the past (read: before we were together) came back and almost kicked both our asses. Mentally? We were both screwed. A very emotional time for us both. We've even lost a few pounds due to stress. The thought of me having to let him go, and his thoughts of losing me were too much for us to handle. There's that double edged sword I was talking about. This issue was a good bulk of my sort of absence from...well, everything. I pretty much alienated myself from everyone and everything for the first few days, then gradually worked my way back as we tried our best to move along. Scuba and I are basically starting over. *sigh* But...I really believe it's all worth it.

Wow. That was nowhere near brief. LOL, sorry. Last thing, though: I've been promising and promising some poetry for you guys for a while now, and now it's time for me to shit or get off the pot. After doing some brief research in my hometown, I've come to the conclusion that no one has heard of 30 poems in 30 days. However, it won't stop me from doing my own! So after this post, the next blog you see from me will be Day1/Poem1, up until I've reached my 30 days. Thanks to Riv for posting her blog a while back and sparking my interest. Until next time...

(deuces.)

btw: for those who have asked or are wondering...yes, the picture at the top of the blog is me. The good ole days... :o)