oh, baltimore pt 5: yapp city

Wanna know something funny?
I talked myself out of being robbed the other night.

Now, I've been blogging about B-More and the violence that inhabits it. But, I never would have thought that the next entry in the "oh, baltimore" series would be my own story. I also never thought that my story would start in Randallstown, of all places. Gentrification at it's best, if you ask me, because this time maybe 6 or 7 years ago, the only bangin' going on was the sound of deer going through garbage cans.

Anyways, I digress. God was definitely on my and my people's side, because we all got away...and I was the only one that was 20 bucks short. A simple gas station run turned into one of the most funny/dangerous scenarios I've ever encountered.

"So, what had happened was..."

*cue dramatic flashback fx*

*Jungle stands at the pump, waiting for the transaction to finish. Enter **Dumb Thug.
Dumb Thug: What's good my man, I got this PSP right here, tryna get it up off me. What you got?
Jungle: Man, I'm broke. I ain't got nothing for you.
Dumb Thug: Come on, my nig, I know you got a little something. Gimme $2...
Jungle: I don't have it, man.
Dumb Thug walks off, harrasses another patron and comes back. Upon approaching Jungle, he's seen putting on gloves and grabbing his waist. Ziggy catches a glimpse of his burner from inside the car and calls Scuba Steve, who is at his job less than a half block away.
Dumb Thug: Come on homie, I know you got something. Gimme $5, then.
Jungle: Look, I told you I'm broke. I don't have it.
Dumb Thug: Aight, nigga. Six, then.
Ziggy notices Dumb Thug getting too close to Jungle, so she grabs her beat-a-fool stick and places it by the driver side door, then steps out of the car in an attempt to diffuse the situation.
Ziggy: J, you want something from in the store?
Dumb Thug(interrupting Jungle): Hey Miss, I got this PSP right here, and these headphones; I just wanna make a couple dollars right quick.
Ziggy: Look brotha, I don't even need that, but what do you need? I just got out of the car to make sure my brother was alright, you kinda walked up--
Dumb Thug: Well just gimme $10, then. I'm tryna get me and my homeboys home.
Ziggy: Let me run over here, grab some change and I got you. Then we can be on our way.
Ziggy walks over to gas station attendant to get change, but is interrupted before she can get there. Dumb Thug snatches money from her hand, announces he has a gun and starts making demands...

Everything that transpired after that is just wonderful proof that God has my back and the backs of the ones I love. My brother's girlfriend was also with us, she stayed in the car. Dude basically started going off...but wasn't doing what he said he was going to do. What we didn't notice, were the three other guys that were with him, but luckily, Scuba was pulling up at the same time things were getting a little heated. Then when we thought things couldn't get crazier, Scuba gets out of his car--and realizes he knows one of the guys trying to rob us. At that point, the guy he knows is trying to calm his boy down, telling him to just forget about it. Funny, weren't you just egging him on; saying things like "do what you do...come on, man!"...does that ring a bell? My brother and I were still standing outside while Dumb Thug's telling us that we're giving him and his homeboys a ride to wherever they're going, and when Scuba gets there and Dumb Thug realizes he's with me, he gets excited. Two whips AND more money? Shit, yeah!

But he only got 20 bucks.

He snatched the money from my hand, which was totally fine; I didn't want to make any sudden moves, and I wasn't walking too far away from my family. Sure, he flashed his gun, and he was hype...but I think my and my brother's energy wasn't the energy he needed for him to successfully pull this thing off. He probably needed someone who was visibly afraid, making no eye contact and meeting his every demand. My brother and I talked to him. After he took the $20 started demanding a ride and more cash, I looked right at him and said, "Brotha, I don't even know you, and I just spotted you a 20 spot. You really wanna do this out here?"...and he really didn't, you could tell. If someone who is really about what they're about, they'll do what they have intentions of doing, no questions. I think my brother and I threw him off by talking to him like a human being. He probably doesn't have brothers and home who call him "brotha", something else that I'm sure startled him. Basically talked him down until he felt like he really wasn't about a damn thing.
"These people calling me 'brotha', talkin' to me all nice...and she did give me $20...I can't even do this, man..."
I'm pretty sure those were the thoughts running through his mind, but due to his boys being there (probably some sort of initiation) pumping him up, he kept getting hype...for no reason at all. Luckily, when Scuba got there, his presence acted as a diversion. He started asking the guy that he knew what was going on, so Dumb Thug gets upset because, well, you shouldn't be chummy with the people you're about to rob/kill. So, while Dumb Thug is getting too excited, further showing us that he's not going to do a damn thing, we all hopped back into our cars and got the hell out of there.

That's my story. Sorry it was so(!) long, but I felt the need to really go in depth with that one since it was personal. This isn't something that's never happened before, but this experience helped show me that I really have no fear in these types of situations. I mean, if you think about it...what can another human being do to you, that karma won't do seven times worse to them? And if that's the way I'm supposed to go; at the hands of some ignorant, desperate youngin', so be it. That's my philosophy. Gye Nyame. "Except God, fear none". And it was certainly put to the test Wednesday night. Think I did pretty well. I'm still here.

One thing that's hilarious: my brother and I got home that night and laughed about the whole thing. Laughed even harder when he said we were in a live Nu World skit.

(deuces.)