Shutup, You're So Annoying!

I could've titled this better, but King Julian from Madagascar was the first thing that came to mind when I had to think of something funny to keep from getting pissed off.

It's very rare that I have run-ins with insecure males, but for the past few days I've been experiencing a close encounter of the jealous kind. And to think, this started YEARS ago! Allow me to set the stage for you:

-Boy meets Girl
-Girl shows interest in boy
-Girl is happy to see interest reciprocated
-Girl and Boy spend time together and engage in intimate conversation
-Boy suddenly becomes somewhat of a jerk, throwing former "acquaintances" in Girl's face; showing hints of jealousy
-Girl loses interest due to Boy's constant accusations

That's pretty much it. Didn't really get anywhere for my feelings to be attached in any fashion, so there was really no love loss. I kept it moving. He was a homeboy, someone who came over; chilled and played Halo with me. Sometimes we had "relationship" conversations, most of the time we tripped. The problem occurred when he would throw a former friend in my face. He happened to know the guy I was dating before we became cool, so he found it funny to make jokes about dude (henceforth Guy #1) and I . True, me and Guy #1 were a little serious. But, other dude and I had already discussed that situation; I informed him that I was done, and it was (supposed to be) a wrap. My guess is that he must have been in a similar situation before, but the only difference may have been the total opposite of what happened between him and I. Nevertheless, dude continued to accuse me of hanging with Guy #1, so much to the point that it was a part of every conversation. I finally got tired of it and detached myself from him.

Bam. Let's fast forward to today, almost four years ago. In those four years, we've become "hi" and "bye" buddies; having lenghty conversation only when convenient. He also knows of my current relationship, simply meaning he knows that I'm involved. Our talks never get more serious past who's better than who in Halo, so to say that he knows nothing new about me at all would be saying the least.

Imagine my surprise when I heard from him today, and our conversation went a little something like this:

Insecure Yo: So, you got any children yet? Married yet?
Me: Ha, very funny. No children, no marriage.
Insecure Yo: I mean, I thought you woulda had like, 3 kids by now; way you bunned up with ya boy.
Me: What are you talking about?
Insecure Yo: You know, you and Cuba Gooding Jr. looking dude. When you gonna just stop playing and ditch the lame?
Me: Back to this again...
Insecure Yo: Sike, sike; you know me, you know I joke. Nobody worrying about you and Eddie Winslow, whatever the f*ck his name is.
Me: You don't know his name, and what is the point of this anyway? You jealous?
Insecure Yo: Me? Jealous? Nah, shorty; I told you I'm not worrying about you...

And blah blah blah...I made a slightly serious observation, and told him that he loves me. I was really joking, just trying to get him to shut up. He basically took that as his opportunity to reassure me that he's joking, he always jokes, and he's never had feelings for me. It would have been somewhat conceivable if this whole interaction was new to me, and sadly it's not. Dude is barely a year younger than me; you would think the whole pituitary gland/puberty/hormones phases ran its course, some maturity would have been a result. Of course, I'm incorrect. Naturally, I'm stumped because I don't understand his behavior to begin with. It doesn't make sense. I thought it was supposed to be

girl likes boy+boy likes girl=all is well
not
girl likes boy-boy pushes girl away/boy wants girl back after she's moved on=wtf

I liked him. He knew I liked him. He started being an asshole. I got over it. He wants me back? Sounds like that "Got Til It's Gone" Syndrome, and unfortunately, homeboy is a victim. I wish he knew that he could share his genuine feelings with me, instead of this 3rd grade "I know he likes me because he beat me up at recess" mess. We are adults, and we should have conversations like adults. Are his feelings that hurt about whatever that I had to be an outlet for his frustration, showing his like for me in the most immature way? Who knows. I'd rather not deal with this at all, but I have a feeling it'll happen again soon. Sorry for making this so long, but I know someone has to feel my pain. Someone has to have had a close encounter of the jealous kind.

(deuces.)