Ziggy's Friday Forethought 7: It Started With A Random Keystyle...

For "my" sake

My sanity

You utter the sweetest blasphemy

From your lips to my heart

Creating its own heartbeat

But quickly dying

The root of it all is decaying

As I watch you fall to pieces

Three words to end you

You chose slowly

Not wisely

Know that I am able to soar without you

HE and I control my existence

Loved me before you "loved" me

So I can be all I need

You fail to see that is not I that can save you

You must save yourself.

THE MORAL:

Low self esteem seems to be a trend these days. It can be subtle, but it's there. I had a lot of things running through my mind while I sat at this PC, and the poem above is a result. This won't be a long FF entry for today. The message is simple: before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself first. Love yourself harder than anyone else does. You really can't love a person the way they deserve to be loved until you love yourself in that way first.

That's why I start each and everyday by looking in the mirror and saying, "Ziggy, YOU are THE SHIT!"

Joking. But mantras work, if you're into self affirmations.

Digressing...people often jump into relationships thinking that they'll feel better about themselves if they can find someone else to love them. Wrong. Pay attention, and after a while, that person that you wanted to love love love love you, alllll the time, is going to be out the door. You should not need a babysitter/parental figure in a significant other. Why would you even expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself?

Trust me. Self love is the best love.

Be blessed, and enjoy this beautiful weekend!

(deuces.)

btw: I'll probably have a couple of random posts in the next few days. And be on the lookout for a BlackMuzik update. :o)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 6: Standards

This post will be short and to the point, and it piggybacks off of the FF post a couple of weeks back. The only different is that it applies to the estrogen powered human beings.

But fellas, that doesn't mean you can't learn something as well. :o)

I'm officially tired of the men/women who complain about their significant others.

What pisses me off more is the whole "there aren't any more good black men" statement. It's become a mantra to some females, and it's sad and funny to hear them chant it--all the while, still dating the same dude they've been unhappy with for years. Oftentimes us women get into relationships and do something we shouldn't do until (you feel it's) necessary--settle. We put up with things that we know we can't stand, but out of fear of being alone, we put up with whatever it is we dislike in hopes that "he'll change". Which of course is another strike. Why try to change a man/woman, when you can simply go and find a better person that suits your needs? What's even funnier is this excuse...

"If I leave him/her, I'm gonna be mad to see him/her with someone else, doing better than he/she was with me. Especially after I put in all this work..."

I get it, I get it. It's like...leaving a pot after you've been waiting for it to boil, and as soon as you turn your eyes away, it boils over...right? Right.

In a galaxy far, far away, I used to be one of those women. Low self esteem, putting up with just about anything. I used to think my standards were too high, but as I got older I soon realized that I'm really not asking for much. I'm not a golddigger; I don't need a man's money/legacy/empire to complete me. Give me the basics and we're good. If I find myself unable to deal with a man's flaws, then it's my call to sever ties and keep it moving. I will not waste my own valuable time trying to make a man, or anyone for that matter, into something they're not or don't aspire to be. Also, come to the grips with the notion that there's nothing wrong with having standards! You should always want something/someone equal or greater than yourself. The key is growth, and if you feel yourself growing but your partner isn't, it's not time to change him/her. It's time to move on. As much as it may hurt, sometimes these things happen, and how you deal will eventually become a pattern in future relationships.

If you don't have standards at all, therein also lies your problem. There's nothing wrong with a mental list of pros and cons, but getting into a relationship and complaining because your partner isn't exactly who you thought they'd be won't cut it. Standards are starting to dissipate for us women because we lack the patience (and sometimes the sense) to figure out our likes and dislikes. You can't change anyone but yourself, and a man won't change for you because he already thinks he shouldn't have to...especially not for a woman who he thought was down for him from the beginning.

I'd really hate to see standards become cliche in 2009. Let's get it together, people!

Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 5: Sunspiration.

I had another post in mind, but as soon as I started, the sun came back out and I literally felt my energy level shoot through the roof. So, I learned something else about myself today: the sun serves as my inspiration!

Allow me to explain. I love all seasons, but we all know that fall is my all-time favorite. I started noticing that when it started to get colder and darker, not only did my body shrink (as does everyone else's--it's science!), but so did my motivation to do anything worthwhile. Not a depression thing, but I just couldn't get inspired to write any poetry, or write anything for that matter. My mind was just collecting dust. My blog suffered as well, I couldn't find anything to post; and when I did, by the time I reached my PC the thrill was gone. I chalked it up as another loss and tried again, only to meet the same fate. I thought something was wrong with me.

But then...

All this beautiful weather comes about, and now I'm filled with lines, stanzas, music, blogs...EVERYTHING! It's funny how we as human beings tend to take "little" things for granted. You never really know how much something like the weather will affect you. If you check the news, suicide and clinical depression rates rise during the winter months. Surprising? Not to me. It's dreary outside. Not motivational at all. The Sun serves as our energy source. It's like...chakra food. And a little note to my...um...not-so melanin challenged folks, but our ancestors literally thrived on the energy given off from the Big Star, so it's in our blood to be at our best during the times of the year where it's warm and full of light outside.

I'm going to test my theory on the weather, and I'd like you all to pay attention as well. My guess is that there will be some inflation within my blog posts come May-October, as those are the months when the weather warms up, gets hot and cools back down. I'm sure it'll happen; it's beautiful outside today and I'm already getting the itch to no longer be behing this desk. Looking at the outside from the inside on a day like this is pure torture. And, I'm challenging you guys to give it a shot as well. Having a crappy day? Just go sit outside, with no music to accompany you, and meditate. You'll be surprised at how clear your head will be after just a few minutes. Personally, I like to go out into my backyard, find a nice piece of grass (lmao. Meaning the grass on the ground) and just breathe. It feels great! Trust me. You'll like it.

I'm finally off! Gonna go and enjoy the last few hours of this awesome day.
The picture I posted makes me want to leave the country all over again. *sigh*
Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 4: Blessings, NOT Burdens.

*photo courtesy of my Myspace page*


Two things I've discovered about myself in the past few months:

-I loathe complainers

-People without plans annoy me

These two things have always been something that bothered me, but as I'm kicking my life/career into 5th gear, my tolerance for nonsense is critically low. People who complain really work my nerves, and it's worse when people complain but do nothing to change what they're complaining about. I used to have a friends like this, but after many advice seeking conversations with me, they've discovered that Ziggy doesn't host pity parties. Ever. I'm not the kind of person to dwell on things that I can't change; I go into action and do whatever it takes to make sure there are no repeats.

Not having a general plan--you know, the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" theory--is something that only bothers me because I like to be around people who have goals and means of achieving them. I understand that sometimes there are lots of things that may form restraints, hindering you of reaching your goal...but if you don't have a goal, you have a serious problem. My two pet peeves coincide because when some people aren't happy about where they are in life, they complain rather than taking action. BOOOOOOOO. Whining about something doesn't change it for the better, it causes you to go further into the situation and analyze every aspect with "what ifs". I know for a fact that I have millions of things to complain about, but I don't want to block my blessings, so I thank God for the lesson and keep it moving, no matter how much it may hurt.

"Blessings, NOT Burdens". My personal mantra, if you will. If you are a person who is preoccupied with bitching and moaning about something that happened 4 months ago, you have no idea of the things that are passing you by. Opportunity knocks all the time, but every once in a while we lack the focus to answer. I used to be a complainer, someone who just dwelled on every little thing for entirely too long. I've since learned that I have so many things to be thankful for, and I know that more are on the way. Burdens are just a temporary obstacle to test our strength/faith/stability, and by complaining, you're letting the obstacle win. Regain your composure, dust yourself off and go back at it. Make friends with your same mindframe; being around people who will push you not only feels good, but it also brings better results than hanging with your Pity Party Crew.

Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!

(dueces.)

friday forethought raincheck.

Sorry guys, no FF today. Had a lot going on this week that I'll be blogging about soon. Just need a couple of days to get back on track, and the postage will continue! Nothing negative, besides car trouble today (grrr), but there's a lot going on that needs my focus, so blogger will be on the backburner for a little bit. I'll be back soon. :o)

Everyone enjoy your weekend!

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 3: "No Homo"

Okay, I'll get straight to the point with this one.

"NO HOMO"

This is definitely a phrase I'm beyond tired of hearing. In my opinion, anyone who says this is a) insecure of their own sexuality and b) immature. There is nothing wrong with a man or a woman complimenting the same sex! There has been some kind of stigma attached to this; if a man compliments another man's shoes that man's sexuality is now in question. Not cool. I got funny looks for saying that I thought Alicia Keys' body was nice. If you are a person who is %100 comfortable with your sexuality, complimenting someone of the same sex on their looks, etc. should not be an issue. After I made my comment about A-Keys' assets, I heard chuckles and got funny looks. I mean, how old are we?

There's not really much I can say about this phrase. It's been around for too long and it's time to put it in the ground. It's over abused to the point of offensiveness, being that it's "used" at totally wrong times.

"Ay man, suck a di*k, no homo..."

"That shirt is hot, no homo..."

And so on.

Just kill it, people!

Has anyone heard "no homo" used at the most inappropriate time? And what do you think of the phrase, funny or phony?

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 2: Estrogen Confusion

"But nevertheless don't mean to bust your bubble, but girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble..."

-The Fresh Prince, "Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble"

I can count the number of female friends I have on one hand.

For as long as I remember, I've always been partial to hanging with those of the testosterone persuasion. My mother was sure that it was a phase; the awkward tomboy lifestyle that usually lasts until you stop wearing training bras, but I'm now well into my 20s and the XY chromosomes are still making their presence known in my life. Honestly, it was never a choice as to what gender of company I keep, but past experiences have taught me some harsh lessons, so I choose to keep my distance. I tried to embrace the female energy, truly I did, but each instance ended the same way: FAIL. I'll change names to protect the "innocent", but here are a couple examples.

-Case #1: Best friends since elementary school, Ziggy and Ashley* finally parted ways when entering middle school. Ziggy discovers that Ashley goes to her rival middle school, and they both have fun running the dozens about who's school is better. Things take a turn for the worse when Ashley and four other girls from her school viciously beat up Ziggy one day after school. Result: FAIL

-Case #2: Ziggy and Mia* have been best friends since birth. They've both equally confided in eachother on various subjects; boys being the majority as they got older. Mia gets involved with a mutual acquaintance of her and Ziggy, which turns sour after a few months. Before the end of their relationship, Mia and Ziggy get into argument due to Mia's incessant sharing of Ziggy's personal business with said boyfriend. Argument almost turns into physical altercation as Mia makes it clear that she is taking boyfriend's side. Violation of "the code"; result: FAIL

Now, these are just a couple of examples, but the most recent permanently seals my opinion and also provides further examples of why I would rather be in the company of the opposite sex. A while ago, after meeting Scuba for the first time, a female I consider to be a great friend said something that both angered and upset me.

"Damn Za, he's a cutie. What's he doing with you, though? I could never figure out how you pull these types of guys; good looking, good head on their shoulders, goals...the sex must be amazing."

*cue Flava Flav sound byte*

Wowwwwwwwwwwww. Seriously, though? Yes. She was dead serious; she really wanted to know. That's my problem. As females, it disgusts me that we have this wack ass crabs in a barrell complex with eachother. Can't be happy for a sista, but you'd love to take the time to dissect and tear down who I am to try and figure out why I have who/what I have. I would have answered my "friend", but I was too busy trying to keep my hands from developing a mind of their own and slapping whatever sense I could rattle up out of her. She basically assassinated my character right in front of me. She failed to perform her duties as a friend; instead of exclaiming her happiness for me, she decided to use her soapbox moment to display underlying jealousy by ripping my relationship apart. Not cool. If I hadn't been so upset, I would have given her an answer, and I'm sure it would have went like this...

"It's funny that you mention that, I'm still trying to figure out why dudes waste their time with you. All you do is sabotage everything. You're so used to being treated like s*it that when someone positive comes along, you automatically thing that something's up when it's not. You don't know how to be happy, so you're choosing to live vicariously through me and insult me at the same time. And although my sex life is not your business, we haven't had sex . Just because you choose to take the whore route by dropping your panties for every dude who blinks twice at you doesn't mean I'll do the same. And the bottom line is, I attract what I am and what I desire. Try changing your way of thinking, and maybe you too can pull a dude that cares about what's in your head instead of head."

I could have taken it there, but I chose the adult reaction; I said nothing, and after that conversation I decided to distance myself from her. If she's saying that to my face, Lord knows what she's saying about me to her friends, mutual or otherwise.

Since then, I've tried multiple times to begin new friendships with females, but there's always too much drama, and I always end up being the advice giver for situations that really don't require much thought. It's all too much work, and I'm a simple person. Besides that, I have my own issues and scrupples that need figuring, so I'm a little picky when it comes to dividing time between things that are important and pointless B/S. I've had too many instances where I've heard something come from a woman's mouth and gave her the "WTF?" face. Just doesn't cut it. Things just don't work out for me, which is totally fine; the female friends I have in my circle now are more than enough.

So, to my female readers (or really anyone who'd like to jump in), do you have a hard time seeing eye to eye with the same sex? Why? I know I can't be the only one to share the same reasonings. Let me know what you think.

(deuces.)

Ziggy's Friday Forethought*: Haters.

*this post was inspired by a conversation I overheard at work today. Of course I couldn't say anything to the customer, but if I could have, it would have went a little something like this...

It's time to bury the word HATER.

I'll make this short and to the point: over the past few years, the word "hater" has become some sort of verbal monster; being spewed out of mouths of any and everybody. As soon as you so much as disagree with the way a person breathes, you're labeled a hater. Maino released "Hi Hater" and I practically laughed my ass off; I wasn't aware that Maino was known or cared about enough to have haters in the first place.

Worse than the abuse of the word is the actual reasoning behind why people use it. Some people love to say they have haters for the most minimal of reasons--just because someone doesn't like the color of those Chucks you have on does not constitute them as a hater, genius. They just don't like the color. Now, if that person happens to hop in their car and roll over your Chucks with your feet still in them, yelling something like "You'll never wear another pair of Chucks again, mutha f&*^@!", they miiiiight be a hater. Or in serious need of a room with padded walls and a jacket so they can hug themselves all day.

In closing: kill it, people. There's nothing wrong with people disagreeing with your style/way of life/occupation/etc. No one has to like or appreciate everything you do. However, if there are people who spread vicious rumors or basically attack your character, that person is unhappy and could be labeled a hater. Other than that, keep it moving; realize that in life, there are some people who thrive on being unhappy, and you could be the fuel that keeps them going.

By the way, if you're one of those people who are constantly claiming to have haters, but have no evidence to back it up whatsoever? Anddddd not only do you make the claim, but notice that people tend to stay away from you? Anddddd you're a person who, with the more haters you claim to have, the less friends you actually keep?
You don't have haters. You're probably just an asshole.
You're welcome.

(deuces.)

*I'm debating on having Friday Forethoughts as a regular thing; probably to be typed during my last half hour of work. Thoughts, anyone?