Friday, March 6, 2009

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 2: Estrogen Confusion

"But nevertheless don't mean to bust your bubble, but girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble..."

-The Fresh Prince, "Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble"

I can count the number of female friends I have on one hand.
For as long as I remember, I've always been partial to hanging with those of the testosterone persuasion. My mother was sure that it was a phase; the awkward tomboy lifestyle that usually lasts until you stop wearing training bras, but I'm now well into my 20s and the XY chromosomes are still making their presence known in my life. Honestly, it was never a choice as to what gender of company I keep, but past experiences have taught me some harsh lessons, so I choose to keep my distance. I tried to embrace the female energy, truly I did, but each instance ended the same way: FAIL. I'll change names to protect the "innocent", but here are a couple examples.

-Case #1: Best friends since elementary school, Ziggy and Ashley* finally parted ways when entering middle school. Ziggy discovers that Ashley goes to her rival middle school, and they both have fun running the dozens about who's school is better. Things take a turn for the worse when Ashley and four other girls from her school viciously beat up Ziggy one day after school. Result: FAIL
-Case #2: Ziggy and Mia* have been best friends since birth. They've both equally confided in eachother on various subjects; boys being the majority as they got older. Mia gets involved with a mutual acquaintance of her and Ziggy, which turns sour after a few months. Before the end of their relationship, Mia and Ziggy get into argument due to Mia's incessant sharing of Ziggy's personal business with said boyfriend. Argument almost turns into physical altercation as Mia makes it clear that she is taking boyfriend's side. Violation of "the code"; result: FAIL

Now, these are just a couple of examples, but the most recent permanently seals my opinion and also provides further examples of why I would rather be in the company of the opposite sex. A while ago, after meeting Scuba for the first time, a female I consider to be a great friend said something that both angered and upset me.
"Damn Za, he's a cutie. What's he doing with you, though? I could never figure out how you pull these types of guys; good looking, good head on their shoulders, goals...the sex must be amazing."
*cue Flava Flav sound byte*
Wowwwwwwwwwwww. Seriously, though? Yes. She was dead serious; she really wanted to know. That's my problem. As females, it disgusts me that we have this wack ass crabs in a barrell complex with eachother. Can't be happy for a sista, but you'd love to take the time to dissect and tear down who I am to try and figure out why I have who/what I have. I would have answered my "friend", but I was too busy trying to keep my hands from developing a mind of their own and slapping whatever sense I could rattle up out of her. She basically assassinated my character right in front of me. She failed to perform her duties as a friend; instead of exclaiming her happiness for me, she decided to use her soapbox moment to display underlying jealousy by ripping my relationship apart. Not cool. If I hadn't been so upset, I would have given her an answer, and I'm sure it would have went like this...
"It's funny that you mention that, I'm still trying to figure out why dudes waste their time with you. All you do is sabotage everything. You're so used to being treated like s*it that when someone positive comes along, you automatically thing that something's up when it's not. You don't know how to be happy, so you're choosing to live vicariously through me and insult me at the same time. And although my sex life is not your business, we haven't had sex . Just because you choose to take the whore route by dropping your panties for every dude who blinks twice at you doesn't mean I'll do the same. And the bottom line is, I attract what I am and what I desire. Try changing your way of thinking, and maybe you too can pull a dude that cares about what's in your head instead of head."

I could have taken it there, but I chose the adult reaction; I said nothing, and after that conversation I decided to distance myself from her. If she's saying that to my face, Lord knows what she's saying about me to her friends, mutual or otherwise.
Since then, I've tried multiple times to begin new friendships with females, but there's always too much drama, and I always end up being the advice giver for situations that really don't require much thought. It's all too much work, and I'm a simple person. Besides that, I have my own issues and scrupples that need figuring, so I'm a little picky when it comes to dividing time between things that are important and pointless B/S. I've had too many instances where I've heard something come from a woman's mouth and gave her the "WTF?" face. Just doesn't cut it. Things just don't work out for me, which is totally fine; the female friends I have in my circle now are more than enough.
So, to my female readers (or really anyone who'd like to jump in), do you have a hard time seeing eye to eye with the same sex? Why? I know I can't be the only one to share the same reasonings. Let me know what you think.



Anonymous said...

I really use to think it was me, that for some reason I just couldn't keep a female friend, but after too many experiences that revealed the same thing, I began to think otherwise. I will not deal with negativity or unnecessary drama and too many females can't get enough of the two. I've recently had to distance myself from one of my closest friends because every other week she was involved in some mess. I don't have time for that.& all the petty criticizing is uncalled for. At some point its time to grow up.

nianicole said...

well za, all i can say is "friends" are hard to come by in general. male or female. so i wouldn't even call what you have a problem with females, you just can't seem to tolerate bullshit. i used to think i had a problem with girls too, till i stopped hanging out with the lames and found some reals one. anyway, don't stress ANYONE. cause at the end of the day all you need is ONE good friend anayway.

Ziggy Za. said...

Lady C-
My sentiments exactly.

You have valid points, but you've gotta remember that I only included a couple of examples. LOL, I feel what you're saying, and I don't tolerate bullshit, but I'm also a little older than you. The fact that I still have these issues with females is ridiculous. Didn't wanna pull the age card...but you'll see when you hit college. :o)

Aisle Seat Rider said...

Agreed! Man, I just realized you had a blog as well--slow. And thanks for following mine, Ziggy Zah, much love.

Girls are just really insecure and it's both our own fault and others. It's an inherited thing and product of our environments usually. Next time, it's just good to call your "friend" out on her shit right then and there. If she can't appreciate honestly, then tough for her. Also, that this very blog subject is why I LOVE Karina Pasian's "16 @ War" song. Lol.

Ziggy Za. said...

LOL, no harm, no foul. Your blog is friggin' hilarious, might I add.

And believe me, I did call her out, things were almost resolved...until the boyfriend jumped back in and she was back on his side. Sad story, really.

The Notorious Z.A.G. said...

I'mma have to agree with nianicole on this one. I used to think it was just females, but actually its all dumasses and airheads. Male, female, old, young. I can't tolerate it. I have learned to save friendships with people who actually use their brain for something other than involuntary bodily functions.

Ziggy Za. said...

I feel you. I said in the beginning that I can count my female friends on one hand, so I've learned to keep the female energy around me, but only to a certain extent with select people. If there are signs of B/S, I won't totally distance myself--everyone has their own issues--but I will keep a mental reminder of things I notice.