Wednesday, October 28, 2009

You Guys!!

I'm a year older, working my ass off, and hoping I won't be in the same place mentally and spiritually come this time next year. Random; I know, but I wanted to give you the quickest update possible. Let's proceed!

I've got some blogs for everyone to read, but I really don't have much time to post anymore. So, here's the deal:

-If you consider yourself a musician, songwriter, producer, or artist of ANY kind, I suggest you follow my other blog. It's open to RSS feeds, so there's no excuse!
This is the blog I post on frequently, as it covers everything music and art, as well as BlackMuzik tracks and what's going on with the group. Follow and stay up-to-date!
-After some internal debate, I've decided not to delete my Blogger page. I will continue to blog here, but all my posts will be keeping with the pace I've had before I lost track--all my personal thoughts, rants and soapbox moments. The longer, deep thought posts, you know.

And, I won't be blogging here unless I really have something to post. Which means my posts will be far between, but not too few. I've got a nice bit of saved posts here, and they'll be up after I edit, proofread and possibly re-draft. I'm a perfectionist. It's a gift and a curse.

As I've previously stated, if you're interested in reading something from me at least 4 times out of the week, please don't hesitate to follow my Tumblr blog.

Until next post!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Dear Dr. Dre,

As a fan of your music and business ethics, I’m sorry to say you’ve officially lost your rabbit ass mind. Almost 3 stacks for a laptop and at least $300 for your headphones? Really?

I understand that there are people in the industry who use the headphones, and your name is a brand in itself, so your products are expected to be a little pricey…but this is ridiculous.

What about your die hard fans; who can identify with NWA lyrics, or songs from The Chronic; that can’t afford a way out of their own neighborhood, much less something to listen to your music from? What about that little boy/girl who, dispite the musical influences around him/her today, wants to be the next Dre? How do they feel when they see that their favorite person in the entire world is trying to rape their pockets for their lunch money?

Did you at least take one tip from Stephon Marbury?

As an engineer, I can honestly say that Beats by Dre headphones are no better than any Sennheisers, Bose or Sonys I’ve worked with. Sennheisers have the same design on most of their headphone models, and their prices start at 70 bucks. Bose still reigns supreme in the audio industry, as does Sony. Your name should not give you reason to jack your prices up $100+. And very rarely do I hear someone mention your headphones for the actual performance, but comment on the looks instead.

I had been keeping this in for a long time now, but I heard news about your new laptop and went berserk. An HP laptop with the sound designed by people who work on your music, which is cool…but let’s face it, poor quality mp3s are what give laptops crappy sound. And how much of “your” sound can we really get out of laptop speakers?!

Dre, you’re slapping all your fans in the face for this one. The people who buy your albums legally, supported your tours and concerts when you were active in the industry. They’re pissed.

Stop being a dick and consider the fans.

Still Bumping The Chronic,
Ziggy The Chief

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sunday Haiku

I laughed; he wanted
Knowing me inside and out
To be literal.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Just...Make It Stop.

Beating Death Of Derrion Albert, 16, Caught On Video
*Warning: Violent Content*

This video and story is highly disturbing. I could only watch :47. My heart feels heavy after hearing about this...and it's worse because it damn sure won't make Good Morning America. And if it does, I'll eat crow. But...I doubt it. I know Baltimore is bad, and I've heard Chicago is off the chain...but when is it enough?

"UPDATE: Three teenagers have been charged with first-degree murder in Derrion Albert's beating death.

Silvanus Shannon, 19, Eugene Riley, 18, and Eric Carson, 16, all of Chicago, were charged as adults ordered held without bond, the Tribune reports.

Prosecutors declared Albert an "innocent bystander" in the fight that led to his death.

Chicago police are still investigating the gang fight that erupted Thursday in Roseland that resulted in the death of 16-year-old Fenger High School student Derrion Albert.

Albert was killed in a melee near the school that police believe is a continuation of ongoing tensions between Fenger students that are members of rival gangs.

An amateur video of the brawl shows dozens of people punching, kicking and swinging wooden boards in the street. Albert was struck by blows from one of those boards, Fox Chicago reports, and the video obtained by Fox shows a person getting hit with a board and then stomped on after falling to the ground.

As people rush to help the injured person, a voice can be heard on the video yelling, "Derrion, get up!""

*story behalf of the Huffington Post.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Just (Another) Friendly Reminder:

If you haven't noticed, the URL of this blog has changed. It is no longer It is

Make those necessary changes so you can continue to keep up with my posts!!!!

An Explanation.

I realized my followers and the ones I follow deserve one.

Just because I haven't been posting frequently here, doesn't mean I haven't been posting at all.

I have another blog; no, not because one provider is better, but because I was looking for a different avenue to blog about my music, reviews, etc. I've found a nice little niche in the blogosphere, and it's here.

Now, I've posted about BlackMuzik on this blog before, but my Tumblr blog will host nothing but BlackMuzik updates, new music, news about us and my opinions on the art today, of course. Please feel free to check it out, and follow if you're a fellow Tumblr.

Hell, follow if you're not a fellow Tumblr. Some of yall mofos have Google Reader, I know it!

Occupations and Irony

If you remember this post, you'll remember my frustration with finding a new job at the beginning of the summer. My time was running out, and although I had the money to keep bills paid while unemployed, the fact that I would be "temporarily unemployed" is what fueled me most.

I'm happy to say that on this coming Monday (8/31), I'll be starting my new job!

Once again; I find myself in the missionary position (NO innuendo!), working as a Therapeutic Aide for the good ol' Baltimore City Public School System. I'm not a teacher in a sense, but I will be observing and assisting one student with special needs for the entire school year. I've already gotten my case file, and confidentiality prevents me from giving any more details...but it looks like I'll have my hands full.

The funnier thing, besides my always ending up with children, is the conversation I had on the phone with my employer yesterday. I was told I would be receiving a phone call late yesterday with my choice of schools to pick from. I never got to hear the list, because as I was told the first school my employer also discovered that said school is 5 minutes away from me--

"Oh, that's perfect! [closes folder] That's where you'll be, then. Here's your client's information..."

So, here's the thing: The school that I've ragged on, blogged about, and little bro graduated from, is the school I'll be working in. Yes. The same school that had its own HBO documentary.

This will be an interesting school year.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I Need A Vacation.

So, I'm taking one! Starting tomorrow, I'll be out of town with the fam and some special friends.
Promise to come back with pictures, and MORE blogs!

I'm back!

Thursday, July 30, 2009


So, I've got this nice little setup here. Send me a question, anything you want to ask me. It'll be anonymous. You send the question to this link:

I'll post the question AND my answer on this blog, as well as my other.

Just an experiment, folks. Let's go!


Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm Alive.

...just not very inspired to blog. Anyone else having that issue?

I swear I'm back as soon as something strikes these brain cells of mine.


Thursday, June 25, 2009


I have none. For now.

Seven days from today, I will technically be out of a job. I say 'technically' because it seems that my job was made "seasonal" at last minute (read: some people are intimidated by the youngest black employee running things), and the higher ups decided to tell me YESTERDAY that they won't be able to accomodate me during the summer.

"See you in August, and enjoy your summer", was the end of the e-mail I received in reply to the e-mail I sent days/weeks ago, to a woman I work right beside who could've easily given me an on-the-spot answer to my query. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Won't go into details, but I'll say it's fulfilled a young nerdy dream of mine. But, as much as I hate to admit, there are certain people who don't want me here, and since they have the "power" to make it happen, it's happened. To start, this job is only part time, but the hours I was promised when I was offered the job were not the hours I've been working since I started. Keeping cool, I've had plenty of meetings with the "higher-ups" about acquiring more hours, and I always got the same answer: "We have to check our budget for the end of our Fiscal year, and get back to you." So, how is it that my coworker with the same job title as me was able to work almost DOUBLE the hours I work per week? I guess I'd be typical for pulling the race card, but damn it I'm gonna do it.

Time and time again there have been meeting after meeting, with no end result. I was accused of being late a certain PERCENTAGE of Fridays and forced to sign a paper stating I received "verbal counseling", while I watch my caucasian counterpart stroll in 20 minutes late everyday without a slap on the wrist. Double U Tee Eff. I've let it roll off my back because I had no intentions of staying here permanently, but I've grown attached to (some) of my coworkers, and the teens I met while working here.

*note: I started typing this yesterday (6/24), and when I came in today I was pulled into yet another meeting. What annoys me is the whole "*Susan says...", and I never talk to *Susan! This job can officially kiss my ass.*

So now, come Tuesday...hell, I don't know. I've known of my "break" since early May, and I've been actively looking for a job since my first conflict with the crazy people here. What's funny is, it looks like they actually expect me to take a break and return at the start of the school year. HA! If I had the means to, I would have quit a while ago. But alas, finding a career in my field of interest is pretty difficult so I've had to hold off my grande exit for some time.

Not finding a job with my deadline so close has really got me in the hair pulling stress stage. My parents have been keeping my spirits up; with the "just pray, and BELIEVE" mantra, which I appreciate and utilize, but Sprint won't keep my phone on if I call them and say "I'm praying I get a job so I can pay this already past due bill. Just believe in me, and I got you!" Neither will my other financial obligations. I have a specific plan and path for my career, and I've got my foot in the door...but I don't want the door to shut.

So now, I'm putting it out there: I'm a certified audio engineer with a degree in Mass Communications...and I'm damned good! If anyone knows of anybody hiring in the DMV area, feel free to drop a comment. I'm so serious.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I Can't Keep Up!!!

I swear, everytime I log in, there are 30+ blogs posted by the people I follow. I'm reading, but I have to find time to comment!

I feel like I've been neglecting you guys. =(

Connie, I've been reading. Great stuff, girl!
Riv, dope as always.
Gee-Nah, I'm reading!


It'll take me a minute to catch up, but you'll see sporadic comments from me soon enough.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Yup. Greatness Runs In The Family.

If you live in Baltimore, or watch any news at all, you'll remember a story about a pitbull being set on fire and a police officer putting the fire out.

The officer is my cousin. That's right, bizzles.

""We just pulled up and saw the dog in the middle of the street, rolling around and on fire," Teel said. "It was screaming. I pulled my sweater off and tried to put the fire out."

The officer noticed people standing around. "I asked if anybody saw anything, but nobody did," Teel said.

It's a refrain heard across the city, frustrating officers who feel under siege and alone in caring, spouted by people by rote whether the person actually saw anything or not.

Asked again on Tuesday if anyone in the neighborhood saw the dog being burned, Teel said with a laugh: "Of course not."

Then she added, "The dog, he just stood there, helpless." Perhaps "Stop Snitching" now extends to animals."

*photo and story excerpt courtesy of The Baltimore Sun.

The Mayor has since given Officer Syreeta Teel official honors for her bravery. I feel like a proud mother.

The dog unfortunately was euthanized after several days and several attempts to save her life. There was an outpouring of people calling offering their own money to aide in the search for who committed the crime. At last update, the reward stands at $24,500. More recently, a set of 17-year-old twin boys have been named as the culprits.

I'm not gonna walk around throwing blood on your fake fur coat, but animals hold a soft spot in my heart. Hearing this story still makes me sad. I hope the punishment isn't too harsh, but punishment enough.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ch-Check Her Out, Yall!

I've got a blog recommendation for you guys.
The Prodigal Princess
She's dope.
Poet, comedian (at least I think so), deep thinker...
...I could type this all day. She's a cool woman with a good head on her shoulders, and I consider her fam. Just check her out!
Another reason: We've got the same name.
You won't regret it. I mean, do I promote wack blogs here?

Damn, Baltimore Pt. 3: Leakin Parks and Stinkin Clergyman

"BALTIMORE -- A Baltimore city grand jury has indicted two pastors in connection with the death of a developmentally disabled blind man.

Kevin Pushia and James Clea are accused of conspiring to kill Lemuel Wallace in order to collect hundreds of thousand of dollars from insurance policies taken out on him.

Wallace's body was discovered in February in a restroom in Leakin Park.

Pushia and Clea remain in jail. An arraignment is scheduled for next month.

*photo and story courtesy of

I never thought I would have a "Damn, Baltimore" post of this caliber. The two pastors were indicted last Friday. They paid a hitman $50,000 of the church's money to execute Lemuel Wallace, leaving his body inside of Leakin Park. If you're from Baltimore, knowing that a body was dumped inside of a public park is no surprise. Google 'Leakin Park' if you're curious. They don't call it 'Leakin' for nothing.

There are also reports that one pastor, Kevin Pushia (picture shown above), also coerced other clients at the Arc Center to list him as the benificiary in their life insurance policies.

WTF. I mean, stories like these aren't unheard of, but it always kills me when these stories about "men/women of the cloth" surface. Calling yourself a pastor and then doing such acts should cause spontaneous combustion.

Seriously, though. Google 'Leakin Park'.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

NAME CHANGE! Read If You Love Me.

Alrighty people, as of right now this blog's url is no longer Keeping things in the spirit of consistence, you are now reading from the new
Now, go write it down or change it up in your follow list.
You're awesome!
*glances at blog picture*
I'll change that soon enough.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Another Missing Pieces Update!

As promised, I have another update on my new found family members! Everything is going great, Mooney has been coming to performances and all. We've hung out a couple of times and are still in the process of getting to know eachother, but so far things are looking up.

The best thing about typing this post is being able to tell you all that he wants to meet our father! I've gotten into the habit of not talking about our father because I know it's a sensitive subject, but so far every conversation about him has been initiated by my brother. I saw him this past Friday and he said he'd like to see him. We both understand that it will definitely be awkward, but it's something that should be done. I'm not expecting them to become the best of friends immediately; taking weekend fishing trips, but anywhere other than where they both are now is a start, and you can tell there's a void that needs to be filled. Super excited about that because I can tell my father has been harboring a lot of pain behind this whole ordeal, which isn't totally his fault, and he's ready to get rid of it after 38 years. I'm looking forward to the "first" meeting.

I've also been getting in contact with my older sister, whom I haven't seen since I almost died in '02 (that's another story). My niece got a chance to come over and visit, she's 14 now and one helluva basketball player. Just found out my nephew actually goes to the high school right up the street from me, so there's a chance I may have driven by him too many times to count. Got some particularly bad news about two older nephews of mine, but I'm hoping they'll be fine. My brother and I plan on going to give them some auntie and uncle tough love, even if one of them happens to be older than me. Obviously, someone wasn't giving them enough of whatever they were looking for.

More updates will follow, hopefully with great news!


Sunday, June 7, 2009

Growing Pains and Magnifying Glasses

People like me.

And, that's where the problem begins.

It's graduation season, and many of the young ladies and men I mentor in my theater group have crossed the stage over the weekend, most on the same day. There are also some outside of the group who were handed their diploma and are looking forward to higher education (and dorm parties) come August. I'm proud of each and every one of them, and when I get time I've told most of them I'd take them out as a token of congratulations from me. From the beginning of prom season up until now, I've been getting invited to "see-offs", graduations, graduation parties and more. With my hectic schedule, it's hard to keep up with them all, but I sincerely do my best. All of this has got me to thinking...
...what is it about me makes the youth draw to me the way they do?

I can recall sitting in a rehearsal one day; and the group was going around to each person in our circle individually to tell that person what they like most about them, and something they think that person can work on. When it was my turn, I was moved to tears. To hear so many young women and men call me their role model really made me glad to know that I'm being a positive influence. What really got to me was one of the young poets in the group (who is also a blogger) said something to me that I can't remember word for word, but it went something like this:

"You have so many people who look up to you, I'm afraid I'll become a follower ...there are always people coming up to you; asking for advice, I don't know where'd I fit in..."

To this day, what she said still holds weight to me, and I hope she's reading because I never told her

that. The crazy thing is, if these children only knew that sometimes I find myself looking up to THEM, they'd probably laugh at me! The generation behind me is sometimes a scary one, but they are so filled with creativity and genius that it gives me chills. I wish I was as brave and outspoken as a child like the youth that I know. I admire them as much as they admire me, if not more. What they don't know about is the pressure I feel I'm under sometimes trying to stay in a positive light for them. It's hard to please everybody, but I think it's even harder to maintain an image for people who look up to you, and if these children knew a piece of my life outside of Nu World, poetry, blogs and drumming they may not like me anymore. LOL, seriously; I'm not perfect, but to some I must shit rainbows.

As I get older, I meet new groups of children and acquire more brothers and sisters. I recently worked at a rites of passage program for young men, grades 6-8. They hated my guts in the beginning because I disciplined them with pushups and six inches, but by the end of the program I've gotten more hugs and smiles than mean mugs. I've become attached to some of the high schoolers who come into my job everyday, and I even overheard one of them describing me to his friends as his "big sister and confidante". In the cultural community I'm in, women with young daughters come up to me and ask if I would be willing to give drum lessons to their aspiring musicians in diapers. There's even a young woman that I've known all of her life who has recently become a little sister to me. She comes to me with any and every issue she has, and I'm always more than willing to listen and offer advice when needed. I'm really glad to see her following her dreams, and she's becoming a music junkie like myself. We're still working on that last part. =)

So; Cortney W, Zakirah, Akilah, Nia and Cortney: I'm proud of all of you. You five stay on the path you're on, you're headed in the right directions. Congrats on graduating and making the next step to college. I can never say I only have 2 sisters, because it's obvious I've adopted you all as my own. I love you! Congratulations to all the graduates, really. And to anyone who's ever walked up to me and called me their role model, I'm doing my best for you so you can do your best for the people who are beginning to look up to you.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Haiku: Common Cents (Economy Edition)

My shoes may not be
The freshest but please believe
My phone is still on.

Just a little something I wrote to myself when I was thinking about the last time I've been in a mall. =( It's been a minute.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Nature of the Beast.

he doesn't have
that same sparkle anymore
beautiful brown eyes filled with pain
doctors say that nothing's wrong
his mother knows her son
waiting for him nights on end to come home
only to find "him" sitting at the bus stop
clothes dirty, hair unkempt
waiting on a bus that will never come
unexplainable moments of rage
in a matter of seconds
replaced by the man we all know and love
it's scary to watch the downward spiral
a genius, afflicted by his own mind
torment that no one should bare
has become his burden.

For my friend, who's entering a chapter in his life that no one saw coming.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Now, Why You Wanna Go And Do That?

I've just been informed that we are in fact still living in the year 2009 Anni Domini, so now that I know I'm not tripping I can tell this story.

You would think that a city like Richmond, Virginia would be far removed from some types of ignorance, especially in an area that hosts a fairly known university and a strip full of shops, places to eat and other things that make Broad Street look habitable. I was dead wrong.

To start, myself and my brothers were all headed down south to rehearse for a very important show coming up this weekend. We've been performing with this same company for 10+ years now, so saying we're familiar with Richmond wouldn't really be saying enough. So, before a rehearsal; we're driving around on and off of Broad St., looking for the destination my GPS mapped out. We finally get there and the neighborhood is looking nice; lovely homes, vintage shops and...not really that many of my um, melanin enriched folks. =\ You get the picture, but it was no problem, because I have yet to have a serious race issue in Richmond. I may have spoken too soon, because the woman in the 7-Eleven we went into had no problem providing me with my first experience.

And she was black.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't my first time experiencing behavior like this, but it was just shocking because of the area I was in. I've been in a lot of small towns where the percentage of black people is slim to none, so it's almost expected in areas such as those. What was funny/sad about the entire encounter was the fact that I watched the woman become two different people right in front of my eyes! All of us were pleasant to her, greetings included, polite...and she talked to us and looked at us like we just rolled around in shit for two hours before stepping into her store. She even yelled at my brother for his misunderstanding the total she kind-of told him at the register. I got carded for buying a was just all bad. But, the kicker was watching a few melanin challenged people walk into the store. I thought I was in a scene from "10 Little Niggers". She was just smiling and over polite (if there is such a thing), complete with "yes ma'ams" and "no problem sirs". Sad thing to watch, really. I could have said something to her, but I'm an out of towner, and I had a rehearsal to get to. But I made it a point to make sure that she knew we weren't pleased with her embarrassing antics. Jabari made sure to toss a couple Sambo jokes in on the way out.

Richmond residers reading my blog: she's at the 7-Eleven on Sheppard Street, across from a tobacco shop. Go tell her we said "hello"!


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

To Tumbl, or Not to Tumbl.

My best friend, who has a blog on Tumblr, has been telling me for some time to give it a shot. "Coding is easier and better to do", and supposedly the themes are plentiful. Now, I'm not deleting this blog; I've gained too many followers to just snuff this one out so soon, but I do think Tumblr may be another avenue for me to post about music; my music, etc. So, with that being said...

...what do you guys think? If I blogged here and on Tumblr, would you read? Drop comments in the box, I need input!


Monday, May 25, 2009

Guess Who's Back....Back Again...

Yeah...I've been absent from the blogosphere for juuuust a second. To be blunt, the real world is an awesome place. An awesome busy place in my case, for I've been running around like a chicken with no head for the past few weeks. ULTRA busy. Performances. Work. Performances, right after work. Meetings. More performances. Back to work. Etc; get the point? The only way to have an idea of what I'm doing is Twitter, and I only have time for that because I use that straight from my phone. Blog posts take too much thought for me to go mobile. And who knew I could drive out of state so many times in less than a month?! Whew!

Nevertheless, I'm back. Hopefully, I'll have some picture updates for you guys, and info about exactly what the hell I've been doing. A BlackMuzik update/post is in the works, and also a main reason behind my accidental hiatus.

I've been grinding, guys. Cut me a little slack, please?


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Gosh Darn Right, I'm Feelin' Myself.

Well, we're feeling ourselves.
If you listen to the music on this very blog, you're awesome beyond most awesome. If not, I suggest you get to a PC and turn the speakers uppppppppp!!!!!!
A big 'thank you' to the readers who have commented or sent me e-mails about my music. It's all deeply appreciated!
I said it before, and it won't kill me or you if I mention it my playlist, all tracks that are a creation of BlackMuzik is marked with an *.
I suggest you take a listen to the first song on the playlist. I think it's jammin'.

I've finally decided to start talking a little more about my joint venture with my fam. I was apprehensive at first; I'd like this blog to maintain a non-commercial feel, but I also realize that the internet is a very powerful tool...and there are a lot of people reaping the benefits of wackness whilst I sit back in amazement at the newest dance craze via Youtube (wtF is a Ricky Bobby?!). I'm also no fool, I know networking is a small piece in the puzzle to my success. So, why not use it and try my chances just as others have? Right, Susan Boyle? I won't bombard you with polls, try to sell you "I Heart BlackMuzik" t-shirts or remind you that a mixtape is dropping. But; there will be member introductions, and I will inform you on the music we're making, the moves we're going to make, and our overall progress as a company.

Curious or not, this post is the intro to the series of posts that will be about BlackMuzik--who we are, what we do and our plans of world domination.
Stay tuned.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Different Kind Of Thriller

This find is a result of one of those periods in time where you have absolutely nothing to do, so you YouTube surf...and I like to watch just about anything for a laugh. Or anything that intrigues me.

This vid definitely had both factors on lock.

Call me crazy, but I think the song is rockin'! I'm tryna find it online now to add to my collection, lol.



Friday, April 17, 2009

Juuuust A Reminder...

This is totally pointless.
Click here and follow your girl.

I just hit my 200th update (woo hoo?), so just because of that I'm unprotecting my updates from today until next Friday. After that, it's back to private mode (would you believe I really have stalkers?!). Start following while you can, or send an add request after!


Ziggy's Friday Forethought 7: It Started With A Random Keystyle...

For "my" sake
My sanity
You utter the sweetest blasphemy
From your lips to my heart
Creating its own heartbeat
But quickly dying
The root of it all is decaying
As I watch you fall to pieces
Three words to end you
You chose slowly
Not wisely

Know that I am able to soar without you
HE and I control my existence
Loved me before you "loved" me
So I can be all I need

You fail to see that is not I that can save you
You must save yourself.

Low self esteem seems to be a trend these days. It can be subtle, but it's there. I had a lot of things running through my mind while I sat at this PC, and the poem above is a result. This won't be a long FF entry for today. The message is simple: before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself first. Love yourself harder than anyone else does. You really can't love a person the way they deserve to be loved until you love yourself in that way first.

That's why I start each and everyday by looking in the mirror and saying, "Ziggy, YOU are THE SHIT!"
Joking. But mantras work, if you're into self affirmations.

Digressing...people often jump into relationships thinking that they'll feel better about themselves if they can find someone else to love them. Wrong. Pay attention, and after a while, that person that you wanted to love love love love you, alllll the time, is going to be out the door. You should not need a babysitter/parental figure in a significant other. Why would you even expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself?
Trust me. Self love is the best love.
Be blessed, and enjoy this beautiful weekend!

btw: I'll probably have a couple of random posts in the next few days. And be on the lookout for a BlackMuzik update. :o)

Friday, April 10, 2009

a few random things that made my week AWESOME:

-Quality time with my niece
-Getting more hours at work (=more money!)
-Buying a new phone
-Finding someone to buy my old phone
-Not feeling bad about spending money on a phone because I'm getting more than half my money spent right back for selling the old phone
-Finding a check while cleaning up, meaning I know have more than half of my money back from buying the new phone
-Seeing my name in the credits beside "Audio Engineer" at my new job
-Seeing old family and friends at Nu World rehearsal earlier in the week
-Going to the movies twice in one week
...and it's only Friday! Hope your week/end brings you just as much awesomeness.


Ziggy's Friday Forethought 6: Standards

This post will be short and to the point, and it piggybacks off of the FF post a couple of weeks back. The only different is that it applies to the estrogen powered human beings.

But fellas, that doesn't mean you can't learn something as well. :o)

I'm officially tired of the men/women who complain about their significant others.

What pisses me off more is the whole "there aren't any more good black men" statement. It's become a mantra to some females, and it's sad and funny to hear them chant it--all the while, still dating the same dude they've been unhappy with for years. Oftentimes us women get into relationships and do something we shouldn't do until (you feel it's) necessary--settle. We put up with things that we know we can't stand, but out of fear of being alone, we put up with whatever it is we dislike in hopes that "he'll change". Which of course is another strike. Why try to change a man/woman, when you can simply go and find a better person that suits your needs? What's even funnier is this excuse...

"If I leave him/her, I'm gonna be mad to see him/her with someone else, doing better than he/she was with me. Especially after I put in all this work..."

I get it, I get it. It's like...leaving a pot after you've been waiting for it to boil, and as soon as you turn your eyes away, it boils over...right? Right.

In a galaxy far, far away, I used to be one of those women. Low self esteem, putting up with just about anything. I used to think my standards were too high, but as I got older I soon realized that I'm really not asking for much. I'm not a golddigger; I don't need a man's money/legacy/empire to complete me. Give me the basics and we're good. If I find myself unable to deal with a man's flaws, then it's my call to sever ties and keep it moving. I will not waste my own valuable time trying to make a man, or anyone for that matter, into something they're not or don't aspire to be. Also, come to the grips with the notion that there's nothing wrong with having standards! You should always want something/someone equal or greater than yourself. The key is growth, and if you feel yourself growing but your partner isn't, it's not time to change him/her. It's time to move on. As much as it may hurt, sometimes these things happen, and how you deal will eventually become a pattern in future relationships.

If you don't have standards at all, therein also lies your problem. There's nothing wrong with a mental list of pros and cons, but getting into a relationship and complaining because your partner isn't exactly who you thought they'd be won't cut it. Standards are starting to dissipate for us women because we lack the patience (and sometimes the sense) to figure out our likes and dislikes. You can't change anyone but yourself, and a man won't change for you because he already thinks he shouldn't have to...especially not for a woman who he thought was down for him from the beginning.

I'd really hate to see standards become cliche in 2009. Let's get it together, people!

Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Harold and Kumar Go to...The WHITE HOUSE?!

photo and story courtesy of
"Actor and longtime Obama supporter Kal Penn is joining the Obama administration, the White House confirmed to CNN Tuesday.
The actor will be part of the White House Office of Public Liaison, which is run by Obama senior adviser Valerie Jarrett. Penn will be primarily involved in dealing with Asian American and Pacific Islander communities and the arts community."

One more thing that makes Obama look awesome in my eyes.
FYI: If you don't know who Kal Penn is, I'm sure you've been living under a rock. Underwater. On Mars.
And...if Obama is cool with putting Kal Penn on his administration...I'm pretty sure other things will be on the way.
420 things, to be precise.


Monday, April 6, 2009

an example of how I get through my day...

A conversation with KC via text message:

KC: Once again, somebody mistakens me for Lebanese. *sigh*
Me: LMFAO! Word?
KC: Word. This makes the 4th time this month...I don't even know where Lebanon is
Me: Lol, maybe you should look it up :o)
KC: Naaaahhhhh. I'll just tell them I'm Persian...I know where that is.

With slow Mondays like this, a good laugh is always welcome. Especially during work hours.
I love my friends.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 5: Sunspiration.

I had another post in mind, but as soon as I started, the sun came back out and I literally felt my energy level shoot through the roof. So, I learned something else about myself today: the sun serves as my inspiration!

Allow me to explain. I love all seasons, but we all know that fall is my all-time favorite. I started noticing that when it started to get colder and darker, not only did my body shrink (as does everyone else's--it's science!), but so did my motivation to do anything worthwhile. Not a depression thing, but I just couldn't get inspired to write any poetry, or write anything for that matter. My mind was just collecting dust. My blog suffered as well, I couldn't find anything to post; and when I did, by the time I reached my PC the thrill was gone. I chalked it up as another loss and tried again, only to meet the same fate. I thought something was wrong with me.

But then...

All this beautiful weather comes about, and now I'm filled with lines, stanzas, music, blogs...EVERYTHING! It's funny how we as human beings tend to take "little" things for granted. You never really know how much something like the weather will affect you. If you check the news, suicide and clinical depression rates rise during the winter months. Surprising? Not to me. It's dreary outside. Not motivational at all. The Sun serves as our energy source. It's like...chakra food. And a little note to melanin challenged folks, but our ancestors literally thrived on the energy given off from the Big Star, so it's in our blood to be at our best during the times of the year where it's warm and full of light outside.

I'm going to test my theory on the weather, and I'd like you all to pay attention as well. My guess is that there will be some inflation within my blog posts come May-October, as those are the months when the weather warms up, gets hot and cools back down. I'm sure it'll happen; it's beautiful outside today and I'm already getting the itch to no longer be behing this desk. Looking at the outside from the inside on a day like this is pure torture. And, I'm challenging you guys to give it a shot as well. Having a crappy day? Just go sit outside, with no music to accompany you, and meditate. You'll be surprised at how clear your head will be after just a few minutes. Personally, I like to go out into my backyard, find a nice piece of grass (lmao. Meaning the grass on the ground) and just breathe. It feels great! Trust me. You'll like it.

I'm finally off! Gonna go and enjoy the last few hours of this awesome day.
The picture I posted makes me want to leave the country all over again. *sigh*
Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!


UPDATE: Missing Pieces

As promised, I told you that I would have an update on my meeting my older brother. Well, everything went great! Jungle and I are still talking about it. We went out to eat last Saturday; my younger brother and I, and my brother and his wife. Moms joined us a little later. We sat and talked for almost two hours before we even ordered anything! When we first got there, Jungle and I played the "do you think that's him?" game, as he had called and said he was 4 minutes behind me. Finally getting inside and passing the brief awkward moment of looking for someone with no knowledge of what they look like, in a public place no less, someone stood up in front of me and said

"Z? I'm Mooney. This is my wife Trina."

This man looks exactly like me. He's short and stocky. That's me in a nutshell, sans the anatomy. Of course I didn't see it as soon as I saw him, but after sitting for a while and examining facial features; trying to catch a glimpse of daddy, I finally started to see the resemblance. Him and little brother's hands are exactly the same. Overall we had a great time. He explained to us that his children wanted to come along, but they all had prior obligations, but they're down for the next time. Jungle already has a 2K9/Madden challenge from his nephew, and both our nieces are eager to meet us. We tripped about the fact that Mooney's favorite thing to do is cook, and his specialty is lasagna; so he's like his father in more ways than one! My dad's lasagna is a crowd pleaser, so hearing my brother say that he loves to cook--without knowing that his father's a beast in the kitchen until I told him--was amazing to me. Him and his wife have been married for 20 years, so not only did I find my brother, but I now have a sister-in-law. The blessings just keep pouring in.

There was a lot of questions asked, catching up and story sharing. What made the both of us excited was the fact that he almost seemed more excited to meet than we did. When he picked up the check once it came, my mother told him that he didn't have to pay for everything. I was so happy when he looked at her and said

"I met my little brother and sister today, so this is nothing."

There were so many highlights of that evening, but I feel I'd go scatterbrained if I tried to reiterate them all. Just know that it was a beyond perfect reunion. We're all supposed to hang out this weekend; the four of us, his children and our younger sister he'd like to meet. There were short bursts of conversation about our father, so I'm taking that as a good sign. 2009 is looking like an excellent year for me. I've found my family, so who knows what else I will accomplish this year!


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The only poetry I can muster up amidst this brain fart.

Just like the rain does
Love flows endlessly through me
Watch the storm begin.

*I'll be bringing the poetry back to the forefront as soon as this brain fart has passed...maybe some vlog rants...we'll see.


Chronicles of the Bestie.

She's Mexican.
She's a photographer.
She's tatted alllll the way up.
One of the coolest people you could ever meet, screw a celebrity!
She's from everywhere.
She's my best friend!
Andddd she's awesome.
Go and welcome her to the blog world. Tell her Za sent you, and tell her that I said "Stay your ass put this time!"
If you're into dope photography and randomness, this is the blog for you.


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Second Chances

After much mental debate and persuasion (read: threats from friends)...
...I have decided to give Twitter yet another shot.
Come follow me.
And this better be interesting, dammit!

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Rapture.

And I'm not talking about one of my favorite Anita Baker songs.
My grandmother always called the End of Days "The Rapture", and I never paid much attention to it because she used the phrase all the time, even when it was unecessary. It was funny. Just jokes. But now, I'm not so sure...grandma might be right.

Just over this weekend, we've had two mass shootings on Sunday. There was an incident in Santa Clara, California; an apparent murder-suicide that has left six people dead. Two were children. There is one more woman in the hospital in critical condition.

In Carthage, North Carolina, the term 'disturbing' reached new heights as a man went on a shooting spree at a nursing home, killing seven patients, one employee; and leaving three people wounded. The ages of the patients/victims ranged from 78-98, and the employee was 39. The man responsible for the shootings was shot and apprehended on the scene, and is now facing eight counts of murder and one count of felony assault on a police officer.

Let's not forget about the man who went in on a shooting rampage in Alabama, the man in Illinois who killed a church pastor and stabbed two church members, or the young man in Germany who killed 15 people before dying in a violent shootout with the police. The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, FAST. And when I thought the nursing home shootings were vile enough (who the FU*K kills people's grandparents?!), I read something that made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach.

In Milton, Massachusetts, Kerby Revelus stabbed his 17 year old sister to death before decapitating his 5 year old sister in front of the police. He was then shot after he went after his 9 year old sister, who sustained defensive wounds to her hands, and stab wounds to her stomach and one of her legs. The picture to the the right is that of 17 year old Samantha and 9 year old Sarafina. Sarafina was the one that called the police after watching her older sister be murdered. The police officers who were on the scene are receiving counseling, as they described what they saw as "a killing field".

What the hell is going on with the minds of some of these people? It seems that things are getting worse and worse, with no sign of getting better. People are offing their families like they're...well, not family. Everday I'm fearing for my safety because I may be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and become a victim of someone's rage because their day started off wrong.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all families of the victims who are suffering at this time.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

To The Readers: Comment Convos

Just FYI for those who comment my posts, I do read AND reply to all comments. I love dialouge, so to those who post comments with questions/opinions, I will reply to your comment on my own comment board. Thanks again for showing your interest in the blog, keep it coming!

I'll have more updates on me and my brother's dinner with our brother soon, pics included!


Friday, March 27, 2009

Ziggy's Friday Forethought 4: Blessings, NOT Burdens.

*photo courtesy of my Myspace page*

Two things I've discovered about myself in the past few months:

-I loathe complainers
-People without plans annoy me

These two things have always been something that bothered me, but as I'm kicking my life/career into 5th gear, my tolerance for nonsense is critically low. People who complain really work my nerves, and it's worse when people complain but do nothing to change what they're complaining about. I used to have a friends like this, but after many advice seeking conversations with me, they've discovered that Ziggy doesn't host pity parties. Ever. I'm not the kind of person to dwell on things that I can't change; I go into action and do whatever it takes to make sure there are no repeats.

Not having a general plan--you know, the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" theory--is something that only bothers me because I like to be around people who have goals and means of achieving them. I understand that sometimes there are lots of things that may form restraints, hindering you of reaching your goal...but if you don't have a goal, you have a serious problem. My two pet peeves coincide because when some people aren't happy about where they are in life, they complain rather than taking action. BOOOOOOOO. Whining about something doesn't change it for the better, it causes you to go further into the situation and analyze every aspect with "what ifs". I know for a fact that I have millions of things to complain about, but I don't want to block my blessings, so I thank God for the lesson and keep it moving, no matter how much it may hurt.

"Blessings, NOT Burdens". My personal mantra, if you will. If you are a person who is preoccupied with bitching and moaning about something that happened 4 months ago, you have no idea of the things that are passing you by. Opportunity knocks all the time, but every once in a while we lack the focus to answer. I used to be a complainer, someone who just dwelled on every little thing for entirely too long. I've since learned that I have so many things to be thankful for, and I know that more are on the way. Burdens are just a temporary obstacle to test our strength/faith/stability, and by complaining, you're letting the obstacle win. Regain your composure, dust yourself off and go back at it. Make friends with your same mindframe; being around people who will push you not only feels good, but it also brings better results than hanging with your Pity Party Crew.

Be blessed, and enjoy your weekend!

damn, baltimore pt 2: No Title Needed. This is Utter Bullsh*t.

Just in case you were wondering, the Murder Map reports that Baltimore now has 51 homicides this year. But, that's not what this post is about. It's about the fact that the count almost went to 52...

...Scuba could've lost his life the other night.

I won't go into details because this isn't my story to tell, but I will say that I've never seen him so shaken up. Earlier that day, I had been texting him and getting no replies. The phone he had has been acting up for a while, so I logically concluded that that was the reason why; he's previously complained of not getting any messages from me, or getting them hours later. I try to keep the worst case scenario in the further recesses of my mind, I hate wigging out when it's not necessary. Apparently my worst case scenario was right.

I had no idea he was here, but he came to my house around 10:30 or so and had already talked to my parents about what happened. When he finally told me and our mutual friends, my heart sank. Supposedly someone came into his shop pretending to be a customer, asking for someone else who worked there. What happened after that sounded like a movie--the usual weapon brandishing, everybody-on-the-floor demands, and someone was pistol whipped. He also told us that he didn't know the gun was pointed at his head when the guy said, "If I don't get this money RIGHT NOW, I'm shooting him first." His phone, money, credit card and ID were stolen, but that's a blessing compared to what he could have taken. I'm just glad I didn't get that horrible phone call late at night.

I really don't understand what's going on with my people in this city, or anywhere really. It amazes me how people rob/kill people who live in the same area or even the same block as them. NEWS FLASH: that person you just popped? Trying to make it out just like you are. Great job, dumbass. What's sad is that I know for a fact that it'll get worse when the weather finally warms up for the next few months. We have to do better, seriously.


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Missing Pieces and Rolling Stones

As promised, I'm back, and boyyyyyy do I have a story to tell. I also noticed that I've been behind on some comments on the blogs I follow, so forgive me; I'm working my way back on track so you'll see something from me shortly!

Alright, I never blogged about this because I'm one of those "don't count your chickens before they hatch" type of people. I wanted things to pan out a little further before I opened my mouth, sometimes when you say something too soon things don't really happen the way you thought they would. I did, however, post a poem via my 30/30 a while back. But, everything seems to be going well so far, and I realized that I may have a reader (anon or otherwise) that has gone through or is going through the same thing, so why not share my story, right?

For the past few years, I've been looking for my older brother. My father told my brother and I about him when we were a little younger, I'd say I was 17 or 18. He never came as a surprise, especially after meeting a younger sister when I was 10, but I was always intrigued because he seemed like a sensitive subject to my father. Whenever I would ask about him, I got the same bits of information: first name (maybe the last), where he may be living...and now that I think about it, that's pretty much all I got. There were a lot of questions to go unanswered, like the question of why I didn't know him in the first place.

Fast forward to present time; last Monday. A coworker had given me a website that's used to locate people. I've tried different sites before and never got any desirable results, so I was a little skeptical of this site to say the least. I was also growing impatient; it was frustrating being the only one that was serious in finding my brother. My father's mother promised to try and find the last phone number she had that could help me, my brother's mother. No luck there. My father pretty much went into lockdown mode whenever I said my brother's name, so I gave up in asking him anything and decided to do this thing on my own. I'm playing around on the website, procrastinating really, when I decide to give it a shot. I type in my brother's name--and got way too many search results with too much information. Came to the conclusion that I would go back and try his name another time, so I tried typing in his mother's name. How crazy is it that ONE search result came up? The age was about right, the address and phone number were local...and the website had this feature that lists relatives linked to the search result--my brother's name was on the list. There was also a Norfolk, VA address linked to the search result, which was where I was told my brother lives. My gut told me to take a chance, so I wrote down the name, address and phone number of my who I believed to be was my brother's mother; and psyched myself up to call as soon as I got off from work.


My mind was completely blown! She answered the phone, and once I asked " this Wilma *****?", things took off from there. She was surprised at how I found her information, and she of course had questions for me--how many more brothers and sisters I have, how old I am, why I wanted to find my brother, etc. Everything was moving so fast, I'd been actively looking for my brother for almost three years, and this is the closest I've gotten. Pretty damned good, right?! Our conversation went pretty smoothly, she assured me that she would give my brother my cellphone number. She couldn't promise that he would call, but she would talk to him because she believes we all have the right to "know who your siblings are, no matter the circumstancs between the parents". I thanked her for talking to me, ended the call and then cried in my car on the way home from work.

...and if you thought it was over...
*insert random 'can't stop, won't stop' Diddy soundbyte*

I'm happy to say my brother called last Friday! He's 38 years old, and I have two nieces and one nephew to add to my auntie roster. They're 20, 19 and 15. My brother's a Navy brat/retired police officer, which is totally ironic considering my distaste for law enforcement. The kicker to our whole conversation was that he told me he lives in northeast Baltimore. It may not seem like a big deal, but understand this: I spent a great deal of my mid-teenage life working in northeast as a mentor/performer, so I'm sure I've crossed him at least a few times, especially in his field. He sounds just like my other brothers, which leads me to believe that he looks exactly like daddy. But we'll see; he said he'd like to meet! I'm so excited and happy...and relieved. I feel like the piece that I thought was missing has been filled. I've always been unsettled with the possiblity that I could've went to school with one of my nephews/nieces (it happened before, I had a nephew in the same grade and same school), or perhaps my younger brother could have been pursuing his niece as a potential suitor, all because we didn't know who our family was! It's truly a blessing to have found him this fast. My mother's proud of me and how much passion I attacked this "case" with, but I find it unsettling knowing that I have a sibling that I don't even know what he looks like. That's about to change.

I'll keep you all updated as Operation: Family Unite/Expansion continues. In the meantime, if anyone has any stories of finding a loved one, sibling or not, feel free to hit up the comment section and spill your guts!

See, Riv? I had good darn reason to be gone, and it wasn't boo loving. Ha! :P


Friday, March 20, 2009

friday forethought raincheck.

Sorry guys, no FF today. Had a lot going on this week that I'll be blogging about soon. Just need a couple of days to get back on track, and the postage will continue! Nothing negative, besides car trouble today (grrr), but there's a lot going on that needs my focus, so blogger will be on the backburner for a little bit. I'll be back soon. :o)

Everyone enjoy your weekend!


Wednesday, March 18, 2009


"Do you know what today's our anniversary..."
-Tony Toni Tone "It's Our Anniversary"

365 days may not seem like a long time to anyone, but it holds significant value to me. See, for the past 365(+) days, I have loved, hugged, spent time with, kissed, dated, shared secrets with, been faithful to and given my heart to one man. Don't get me wrong, I've also had disagreements with, cried over and been upset with this man as well. But the former far outweighs the latter, and considering the emotional hell I've been through in my little time in the relationship field; I'm sure I can relax now. My proverbial knight in shining armor is here! *cue cheesy superhero sound*

Scuba and I are celebrating our first year anniversary today. Today marks one year since we mutually decided to be "exclusive"; one year of dates, meeting parents, hanging with eachother's families; becoming familiar. It's been a rollercoaster ride in the most positive way. I've learned a lot of things from this man, and I'm proud to say that I'm comfortable with the woman I'm becoming even in being with him. I've never once had to question my relationship because I was feeling that I was losing myself. Growth is like a personal mantra, and coincidentally stagnation has never been a concern. Every thing is good!

There's nothing really planned for us to do today, not to my knowledge; but I'm just happy and excited for the simple fact that this is my first first anniversary. Totally something new to me. I was in one other "serious" relationship before Scuba. "Serious" is quoted because well, let's just say after growing up I determined that nothing was really serious, but hormones and peaking puberty lead you to believe so. Digressing. Anyways, for a long time, after my first relationship was over, to put it shortly I was chilling to millionth degree. I mean, if you'd ask a select few of my girlfriends, I was referred to as a pimp. An exaggeration of course; I was just the only one in our circle that was not trying to be bunned up for any reason. They were having movie nights at home with their men while I was coming home from one date to get ready for the next. I was having fun, something I felt I deserved. Eleven months with the other dude left me emotionally frayed and in need of a cavity soul search, and even after him I encountered some guys with alterior motives or just not close enough to my own level for me. Every so often there was someone to have second thoughts on my single life, but they were all deaded before we even got the chance to have one of those late night "have you ever" conversations. What's crazy about Scuba and I being together is solely based around two things: we both met eachother as friends with only friend intentions. When Scuba first started inviting me to hang with him, it was always with a group of friends going bowling or to the pool hall. We both look back at this and laugh at the fact that we both say that there was no immediate attraction to one another, but are amazed at what we've come from. The other reason is that he's physically been close to me before I knew he existed...all my life. I found out he grew up a few houses down from my aunt's house, where I spent a lot of my time as a child; he used to live on a street that's walking distance from my house, and more recently when I first found out where he lives currently I tripped out when I discovered he was 8 minutes walking/2 minutes driving from my house. What are the chances?!

I've made this a bit long, and Scuba just texted me. Looks like I'll be going out :D so let me end this on a mushy note, song included!


Happy Anniversary!!! We've been through a lot, but I'm glad that we're still able to press on. I'm excited and looking forward to sharing many more of these special days with you, as if any day with you isn't special enough. You may not think so sometimes, but you've taught me a lot. You taught me to love hard even when I was tired of it. You showed me that I could put my trust in a man and not have to second guess your feelings for me. You showed me that there really is a stronger love that is outside of family and close friends. You opened me up and helped me to be unafraid of my emotions. You make me laugh, smile, cry tears of joy; and I can feel each day with you get better and better. I could never regret anything that I'm saying here even if something were to happen to us, the lessons you've taught me are something I value most in our relationship, and I wouldn't be sad to say that I loved you.

Thank you for loving me, and allowing me to love you in the best way I can. You're one of the many things I thank God for everyday, and I never gave the word soulmate much thought until I met you. You said you aren't going anywhere, and if you're still in for the ride, so am I. I love you.

So Much,

Monday, March 16, 2009

Stand By Your Man

I read this story on, and if this isn't the definition of a "ride or die chick", then I officially don't know what is.

"Robin Stearns, 28, watched her husband apply for jobs day in and day out. She watched him scour professional networking sites in an attempt to contact prospective employers.

Robin Stearns created a Web site to draw employers' attention to her jobless husband, Michael.

No response.
Then an idea came to her: Why not make him stand out by starting a Web site devoted to helping him find a job? She used her tax refund to buy a MacBook, which came with a Web site building feature. A few days later, was born."

You can check the rest of the story here.

This woman bought a MacBook (which costs a grip--expensive for no damn reason) with her own money and started a website to help her husband find a job. Selflessness at its finest. Her husband has gotten several e-mails regarding job opportunities since the site's opening. If I was that man, I'd deem everyday "My Wife Is AWESOME" day, lol.

I thnk it's admirable; I hear so many women who claim to be a "ride or die"* chick, but when the proverbial sh*t reeeeally hits the fan, zoom! Out the door, which is understandable in some cases, but if you're out before attempting to fix anything? Consider yourself a wimp. Especially in these days and times, when people are losing their jobs faster than they can say 401-K; who can really show that kind of dedication to the one that they love? I'm with it, I believe that in any relationship, your partner's goals should be just as important as yours, if you're serious. Not more important, but if you are with someone and you're considering spending your life with that person, make a plan. That means "I help you, you help me". Ladies, if your man wants to be an astronaut, help him out by getting information on what schools offer scholarships for his studies. Help him find work! Motivation is key, and he will love you endlessly if you show him you're there. Note: I said motivation, not nagging. Running the "did you do's" by your man is one sure way to annoy the hell out of him, so choose your words wisely. It also works vice versa, so men, if your lady has aspirations of being the best pediatric nurse you've ever heard of, give her a little push; help her study, make some flash cards, do something! You'll feel a shift in your relationship, trust me.

Kudos to you, Robin, you set a great example!

*"Ride or Die Chick" may be my next Friday Forethought topic. That's definitely another phrase that I hear wayyyy too much.