Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Awkward Turtle!

So...I totally grasp the whole "it's a small world" concept. Six degrees of separation. I got it. But, is there any reason why I needed to experience IMAX stereo? Let me tell you what happened...

My cousin turned 21 last week, and to celebrate, last night his sister decided to throw a small get together for him when he came home from school. Everything's going great; the family was all there so we got to have some "remember when" moments. Since my cousin is legal legal now, you know there were some adult beverages to partake in, and those "remember when" moments turned into "I didn't know that happened!"; you know you never hear whole stories about anything as a child. We're watching movies, enjoying nostalgia and partying. Allll good.

BAM. My cousin announces that her homegirl is on the way. Nothing unusual, right? Wrong. A few minutes later, said homegirl arrives with her boyfriend...

...and my ex boyfriend right behind them.

Um, wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke?! Apparently it was; my cousin, brother and his girlfriend had a great time pointing and laughing at my clearly visible shock. I haven't seen my ex in years, and here he was in front of me, in my cousin's house! I assumed that he was tagging along with homegirl's boyfriend, that was the only logic that seemed to make sense at the time. So of course he saw me, and simultaneously this Cheshire Cat grin spreads across his face. God, help me. I just chalked his attendance up as pure coincidence, chucked a deuce his way and made my way to the kitchen. Ciroc was calling my name, and I intended to answer.
After I shared this story with the people who know of my ex, everyone had the same follow-up questions: What did you do? Was it awkward having him around? Well, I didn't do anything. After the initial awkwardness quelled, we actually played a nice game of catch up with eachother. And it wasn't uncomfortable having him around because, well, we happened a longgggggg time ago. I'd compare my romantic feelings for him to that of an inactive volcano. I was 16 when I first met him, and up until Scuba, he was my first and only boyfriend. We were serious, too; like that meet some of your family members, take pictures at the mall (in matching gear) kind of serious. Awwwwww. Really, I met him in a time where I was in that crappy low self-esteem phase; I was going through minimal bouts of depression (another story in itself), and things on the family front was just that--a front. He was there to make me forget, and he did a great job of doing so. The only thing that hindered him and consequently us was his desire to have his cake and eat it too. He made jerk decisions, and because I was naive I put up with it for a while, but once I started feeling better about myself, I was able to let go of him without taking myself through a mental rollercoaster. I'll admit, I have missed him from time to time. Not us, but him; he may have been stupid with his decisions but he was and is still a great person. His friend game was tight, but the boyfriend game needed a little work.
I got a message from him this morning, saying that he was happy to hang around me and my brother, and he misses being around us. He also stated that he thinks we should all start chilling together again. Eh. We'll see. This is definitely something I'm going to let play out until I have to make my own move.



the YOUNG LIONESS said...

i love how you write! i am glad you are so aware you miss just him rather than the concept of you+him. your firm grasp on your feelings should help you esp if you decide to hang around him more.

Ziggy Za. said...

Thank you! :o)
I think the only thing that has me undecided is the period of time in which I haven't seen him. I'm sure everything would be cool, but because I know him so well I'm also sure that if we started hanging again we'd have too many catch up conversations. At length. They're usually orchestrated on his behalf, and consist of questions designed to obtain all of my business. LOL, so; we'll see.